9 Months by A Nerdy Parent

I can't believe I'm posting about the fact that Eden will be 9 months old on Thursday. In the last few months we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Uncle Jared, celebrated Hanukkah with a bunch of family and friends,  celebrated Grandma B's birthday, and took a trip to MA for Christmas. The kids absolutely loved seeing their East Coast family, and it was really hard to say goodbye. The time is FLYING by, and suddenly, my little baby girl is getting close to toddler-hood!! I think there must be some exponential equation you can apply to figure out the speed (s) at which your children seem to grow as a factor of n (n = number of children you have), while also taking into account that particular child's tendencies for fast development (d)...which is also often impacted by their birth order (denoted by n).

s = x^n + n[sum(d)]

If someone could just figure out the value of x, we'd have it all figured out. I'll have to ask God about that some day. In other words, Eli grew fast....but Eden is growing lightning fast! 

She is now crawling all over the house, pulling to stand, beginning to cruise along furniture, and can even let herself back down to the floor in a controlled manner. She also recently learned how to climb stairs and I often find her standing in her crib at the end of a nap, squawking to be rescued. Speaking of "squawking," this little girl has no problem communicating her needs. It only took about 10 minutes to get her to consistently sign "more" with cheerios as the motivation. She happily sings "da-da-da-da-da" all day, until she is tired or hungry or stinky or just generally furious at life. Then, she quickly changes tune to a very despairing "na-na-na-na-na," which we've pretty much been able to translate into: "MA, get with the program, lady. I am clearly very upset and expect you to fix this situation, CHOP-CHOP!" Yes, I have another child who's favorite person in the world (aside from her brother) is her daddy. Mommy is just for fixing problems and comfort during distress. Especially since she stopped breastfeeding between 7 and 8 months (sad, but her uber-independent desire to feed herself helped us completely expect this), so mommy isn't even the primary source of food anymore. One of her favorite things to do right now is stand behind daddy and repeatedly pat his head right on his bald spot. Although I should say, as much as she adoringly smiles at him (which is pretty much every second he's around), this little social butterfly tends to dish smiles out with wanton disregard, much like her brother. It doesn't take much for a passer-by to fall completely in love with her. She's definitely as sweet and joyful as she is strong-willed and emotional, and for that I am so thankful. 

Eden now has 2 teeth (bottom front), but with the way she craves big-people food (she won't even touch baby food anymore...which is unfortunate considering my freezer is packed to the brim with it), you'd guess she had more. Like many babies (with the exception of Eli) she is obsessed with having things in her mouth. So much so, that it's become a mindless habit like how adults chew gum or bite their lips. About 85% of her play time involves active use of both her hands (and often feet), a very analytical facial expression, and a toy sticking half-way out of her mouth. Case in point:

Some other more recent mad skillz: 

-Waving hello/bye-bye

-*Continuing* to sleep through the night since 10 weeks old. We've had a handful of sleep interruptions because she was sick or teething, but she's been able to stick with her 10-12 hour/night norm! YAY!
-Giving "kisses" (clicking her tongue between her lips and face-planting on your mouth)

-Switching toys between hands and using her pointer finger on book pages and toys with buttons

-Holding a spoon almost perfectly, and getting it into her mouth. I think I actually caught her making lip-smacking noises while pretending to feed herself...I must have been imagining it.

-Emergence of object permanence

-A banshee wail so sudden and intense that we can get an entire restaurant (or airplane) to turn heads and seriously wonder if we are physically torturing our child. And an equally sudden composure when the desired toy or food item has been successfully obtained

-Putting her pacifier in and out of her mouth

-Shiny bling to include jewelry, mirrors, embellished hair clips, and all other girly accessories

-Eating paper

Some of her favorite things:

-Seeing Meme, Papa, JJ, and Auntie Kate on Skype (whilst banging the keyboard in such a way that she *always* does THIS ...never fail)

-Eating regular food, then throwing it up if it has a weird or slimy texture. And then trying again immediately.

-Toby the dog

-Her hand-knit blankie from Auntie Kate

-Tummy tickles

-Playing with, taking tubby baths with, or generally being in the near vicinity of Eli

-Eating paper

Some of her least favorite things:

-Taking medicine

-Sippy cups or other things that involve novel nipple/spouts - we need to work on this!

-Sitting still

-Being denied mommy's cell phone

In other news, Eli (who turned 2 on October 30th) has been really enjoying "preschool" at Kindering in Bellevue. He attends a class called "Stepping Stones," which helps prep kids between 2 and 3 for preschool. It's an integrated classroom with 50% of the kids receiving some sort of developmental services. Eli gets speech therapy and some help with his foot pronation while in class. It's an AMAZING program, and has received a ton of awards for being one of the best preschool/early learning opportunities in the state. Even children who don't receive services get way more hands-on interaction from professionals who really know how to boost developmental skills. Normally it's pretty expensive, but because Eli qualified for therapy (though he's doing so well now that I'm not sure he'd still qualify), it's free for us! Eden and I get to go twice a week to watch him on the other side of a one-way-mirror (or we can drop him off and go get errands done). It's been a wonderful experience, and Eli absolutely loves going to school! His favorite time of the day is snack time! What a surprise.

Eli is also becoming such a sweet, patient big brother, and quite the little entertainer. He enjoys singing (ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle, Row Your Boat, Jesus Loves Me, Open Shut Them, Patty-Cake, Old MacDonald, and the list goes on!), playing drums, xylophone, recorder (which also serves as a drum stick and a microphone), tambourine, and shakers, AND he LOVES to dance! Mr. Potato Head is one of his new favorite toys, and he still adores trucks and books. I often find him contently reading books on the floor of his room after he is done his nap, and he also likes reading to his baby sister and to Meme on Skype. Lately, he's been very interested in using the potty (or at least sitting on it) and dressing himself. That includes picking out clothes from his dresser all by himself and buttoning/zippering them up (with some help). Here is the latest result:

(PJ pants and shirt, button-up collared sweater, zip-up monkey sweatshirt jacket, and sun visor. 

He was quite proud.)

I have to say that one of my favorite parts of the last 9 months is how Eli and Eden interact and love on each other. It's such an answered prayer for us to see the natural compassion they have for one another, and the kind of joy and wordless understanding that only their sibling can provide. We thank God for blessing us with such beautiful, healthy, and uniquely-gifted children, and continue to pray that they will treasure Christ above all else, and be the best of friends as they grow up together. While having 2 has its own set of challenges, the blessings have really given us perspective on what's important in life, and how much of a gift having children (plural) truly is. So much so that we are praying about what might be next and the possibility of more if that's something God wants to give us. For now, we are just trying our best to appreciate every single second with these kiddos, because x^2 + 2[sum(d)] is entirely too fast!!

Happy Hanukkah!

So, even though God didn't explicitly ordain this particular holiday in the Bible (like Passover, for instance), Jesus Himself made it clear that it was worth celebrating! Instead of going into all the details about what it is and why our family celebrates it, I thought it would be helpful to link to my wonderful friend Jenn's blog, because she does such a brilliant job of explaining it all!

So here you have it!

http://www.girlseekstruth.com/2008/12/happy-h-word.html

and an update with some additional, AWESOME, God-totally-loves-and-uses-WOMEN-in-powerful-ways information:

http://www.girlseekstruth.com/2010/12/apparently-its-not-just-about-maccabees.html

I did want to also add something about the dreidel game (not a law, but a custom associated with Hanukkah)! Some rabbis maintain that back when the Jews were being persecuted by the Greeks, and the study of the Torah had been outlawed, children (and adults) would gather to secretly study God's Word, even in the streets where there was a risk of a Greek official walking by. When one of them did, they would quickly pretend to be playing dreidels as a cover. Additionally, the Hebrew letters on the 4 sides of the dreidel (and the words they represent) are another teaching device. The four letters are Nun, Gimel, Hey, and Shin, which spell out the acronym Nes Gadol Haya Sham ("A Miracle Happened There" - the miracle, of course, being the miracle of Hanukkah). Any number of people can play dreidel, and it's a great game for young children!

To play,
1. Each player begins the game with an equal number of game pieces (about 10-15) such as pennies, nuts, chocolate chips, raisins, matchsticks, etc. "Gelt" (chocolate coins) work well too!
3. At the beginning of each round, every participant puts one game piece into the center "pot." In addition, every time the pot is empty or has only one game piece left, every player should put one in the pot.
4. Every time it's your turn, spin the dreidel once. Depending on the outcome, you give or get game pieces from the pot:
   a) Nun means "nisht" or "nothing" (Yiddish). The player does nothing.
   b) Gimmel  means "gantz" or "everything" (Yiddish).  The player gets everything in the pot.
   c) Hey means "halb" or "half" (Yiddish). The player gets half of the pot. (If there is an odd number of pieces in the pot, the player takes half of the total plus one).
   d) Shin means "shtel" or "put in" (Yiddish). The player adds a game piece to the pot.
5. If you find that you have no game pieces left, you are either "out" or may ask a fellow player for a "loan."
6. When one person has won everything, that round of the game is over!

Start lighting your menorahs tomorrow night, everyone! Check out this totally blinged-out one I found! :)

"Chânak." Mind Officially Blown.

I love it when God takes something with which I'm already familiar, and decides to blow my freakin' mind with it. LOVE IT! So much so, that I am currently sitting in bed next to my snoring husband at close to midnight because I couldn't fall asleep without writing about it. I've been reading "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel, and although there are a couple tiny parts of it that didn't resonate well with me, overall I think it's an amazing book. Growing up in a REALLY strict grace-less environment, I never learned how to truly trust God and live as a Christian in a secular world (without living in some degree of fear). Fortunately, God was gracious enough to teach me these things as a young adult, and this book is helping me recognize how I can teach my children these same concepts early on and hopefully spare them some of the brokenness I had to work through in order to get where I am. As I was reading tonight, I came across Proverbs 22:6:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

You don't know how many times I've heard this verse. Probably starting from childhood when my mom would use it to explain why I had to go to church or not use curse words. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with either of those things, but what I love about this book is that it explains how to *teach* your children how to love and long for the character of God, rather than follow some set of principles for the sake of looking obedient. Interestingly, I guess I never really understood the meaning behind this verse! As many Christians (like my mom) understand it, it's about raising a child to be a "good Christian" so they will never depart from that lifestyle. WOW...does God have something in store for us, fellow parents! And I'll give you a hint: it involves His *GRACE* to us as parents!

So, let me start with what initially blew my mind. The phrase "in the way he should go" does not mean "in the righteous/religious way," but rather, in the path that is in harmony with that particular child's disposition, talents, and character. The author puts it like this:

"Some translations say 'train him up in his way,' which is actually a more literal rendering of the Hebrew word dereck. One of the most accurate English synonyms for dereck would be the word bents. This is how this same word is translated in Psalm 11 referring to the bend of a bow. If you were making a bow out of a tree limb, you'd first study the limb to figure out what its natural 'bent' is. Then you'd string it. If you didn't do this, when you pulled the bow back, it would snap because it was strung against its natural bent rather than with it. In the same way, we are to groom our children according to their natural bents. This means coming alongside them with a plan to help leverage their natural and unique gifts and skills into highly developed assets that they can lean on in the future." (p. 111-112)

In the back of my head since Eli was born, I kept holding myself to some imaginary standard that I had to raise Him (and now Eden) to be the perfect "Christian." I know it sounds ridiculous and maybe even a little prideful, but I wanted them to pray well, speak well, worship well, play music well, and have a heart for the homeless, share the gospel with courage...and on and on and on (though those are all wonderful things, and many do happen naturally as you follow Christ). That is a heck of a LOT of weight on my shoulders, and as I've come to learn, it's not a burden that God has placed on me, but rather one I've given myself! The "way my children should go" is not some ideal singular *WAY* that only Christ Himself could accomplish. God has given me the grace to understand that my prime role as a parent is raising my children to first and foremost LOVE, SEEK, and TRUST God, but also come to an understanding of how God made them unique for His purpose.

The pressure came off of me tonight and I suddenly felt better able to breathe about this whole parenting thing! Because you know what? Exploring the unique personalities and giftings of my children in order to help them live for God the very best way they can is truly one of my greatest joys. It doesn't feel like a burden at all, but rather an amazing gift from God that I don't deserve. As I'm learning, Eli is not the most verbal child, but he LOVES to sing and dance with me when we listen to worship music (or any music, for that matter)! It's like all his little boundaries and limitations fall off and he just revels in it! He is also so, so, SOOOO sweet and content. Almost nothing upsets him or scares him - even during my pregnancy we prayed for the spiritual fruits for him - particularly peace, gentleness and self-control. After just 2 years, I can see the ways God made him so unique, and I can't wait to help him explore and develop these characteristics for God's glory! Eden is completely unique in different ways. She is my little warrior princess - I can already tell! God has given her a fire in her spirit and she is going to do amazing things on the spiritual battleground in her lifetime. She learns quickly, communicates well, and holds her ground...just like her spit-fire (ok...stubborn) momma. And those are qualities God can use in powerful ways! This parenting thing is seriously the best "job" in the world!

God blew my mind another way tonight, too. The first phrase in that verse is "train up," which, low and behold, is the Hebrew word "chânak." So I'm sitting here with my handy-dandy Key Word Study Bible (KJV), and I decide to look up this term in the Strong's Concordance at the back of the book. It's #2596, if you are interested. It means to initiate, discipline, dedicate, or train up. Under the description, it says that one use "is related to the dedication of a house or temple"...hmmmm...why does this sound familiar??

Then I look. The word is the primitive root for the next word (2597/2598): chânukkâh, which literally means "dedication." Guess what TOMORROW is, people?? Yeah, God chose to reveal this to me the day before the Festival of Dedication. Seriously. Mind. Blown.

I'm some combination of too giddy and too exhausted to really fully understand the full relationship between the dedication we as parents are called to have regarding raising our children to glorify God with their lives (Proverbs 22:6), and the miraculously provision and rededication of the Temple after Judah Maccabee and the Jewish army's victory over the Seleucids. Interestingly this Hebrew term "chânak" is also used in Hebrew literature to describe a method midwives used to stimulate the sucking reflex in newborns (covering their finger with the juice of crushed grapes or dates and massaging the baby's palate). This was used to both stimulate sucking and cleanse the baby's mouth of amniotic fluids. Additionally, the dedication ("chânukkâh") of the Temple began with a purification, or cleansing, since the Greeks had desecrated the holiest areas. As I pray about what all this means, God is starting to reveal to me that part of training up my children is the concept of asking God to purify them from ungodly influences. It may sound weird (or maybe extreme?), but there is so much hate, doubt, idolatry (money, power - you name it), fear, indifference, etc. in the world around us. These things are not of God, and they make their way into our children's minds and hearts, often unbeknownst to us. There is a battle going on out there, whether you believe it or not, and perhaps one of the first steps toward "training up" our children in the way they should go is to be deliberately and prayerfully protective about keeping them "clean" in the same way newborns' airways have to be clean, and the same way God required the Temple to be clean. I have to pray and think a LOT more about this all...I'm just beginning to get revelation on it. But WOW, I am going to have a whole new appreciation for Hanukkah, which starts tomorrow! If you have any added insight to share about this, please leave a comment! :)

Ok, maybe I should try to get some shut-eye now... Hanukkah Sameakh!

"2 Babies Under 2"

My days of being able to affectionately say I have 2 babies under 2 have officially ended, and it honestly makes me really sad! Eli turned 2 years old on October 30th, and I still get can't over the fact that he's not my little baby anymore! In the last few months, he has been growing like CRAZY, and our worries about his unique developmental pace have pretty much dissipated. For a kid who likes to take his time, he certainly had no problem growing his word repertoire to almost 100 words in the last 3 or 4 months alone! He's also very adept at throwing wonderfully age-appropriate temper tantrums and whimpering "ooohh noooooo" if a nap time is missed or he doesn't get his crackers (aka "crack"...aka "rocks"). His favorite things are reading books, singing (ABCs, Row Your Boat, Twinkle Twinkle or "tka tka," Jesus Loves Me, and Itsy Bitsy), eating (the variety goes from pesto/hummus/greek olives/curry chicken to ONLY crackers, depending on the day), talking to Meme on Skype, playing his musical instruments, taking care of his baby sister (i.e. stuffing her pacifier in her mouth or throwing it at her, jamming her bottle down her throat, squeezing the life out of her feet, etc. - all the things a good big brother should do), water play, building blocks, talking on the phone (which can be any available object), and giving Mama and Dada plenty of hugs and kisses. Everyone complains about how tough the "terrible twos" are, and I understand that it has it own set of challenges, but I think they are the farthest thing from terrible. Eli is so interactive, not just with us, but with his sister and his friends at school. He's been going to a "pre" pre-school two times a week for about an hour to get some nice exposure to socializing, structure, different types of play, etc. They have a combination of typically-developing kids and kids with special needs, and I love that Eli is learning compassion and patience in addition to social play skills . Also, he made a great friend next door. Our little neighbor Finley is 18 months old, but they follow each other around like the best of friends, and hold each other's hands wherever they go.

Eli really continues to be such an amazing light with his own special giftings as he grows, and it warms my heart to see how he touches all the lives around him, including mine! Little Eden is not so little anymore! She turned 6 months old on October 24th, and for a petite little thing that had so many issues with colic/reflux/breastfeeding/bottle feeding/gaining weight, she is just as chipper as you can imagine! She is also officially OUT of the sub-5th percentile for weight, and finally closer to the 25th percentile. Still doesn't sound like much, but her chunky little thighs and tummy says it all - she is one healthy little chica now that she finally decided eating isn't her mortal enemy. Beyond that, she has been rolling in both directions since about 3 months, can scoot all over the floor, sit up independently for extended amounts of time, and even babble imitatively. She is ALWAYS moving!! EGADS. I tried to tell people while she was still in the womb, but no one believed me that she moved any more than any other fetus. Yeah. I hope infantile arm/leg flailing isn't an indicator of childhood ADHD or something. On a good note, she continues to sleep 10-12 hours through the night, which started at about 10 weeks, and in combination with Eli's amazing sleeping habits, gives Jake and I a consistent "adult-time" every night after 7:30 or 8pm. It's amazing. AH. MAZE. ING. Other than that, we are now working on solid foods. She didn't care for avocado, but loves sweet potato, and I recently steamed/pureed up a bunch of carrots and spinach, so we'll see how those go in the next few weeks. She finally decided to take a bottle about a month ago, and now she even holds it herself, which is quite nice. I'm still breastfeeding throughout the day, but she takes either pumped milk or formula by bottle about 40-50% of the time. It's been nice to add "date night" back into our vocabulary again. These days are going by FAST, but I wouldn't trade them for anything, and as much as I miss each day that goes by with my "2 babies under 2," I am so excited about all the new things that each day holds, and the growing relationship between my sweet babies. "Blessed" doesn't even begin to explain life right now!

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. EVERY DAY I will praise you, and extol your name for ever and ever. -Psalm 145:1-2

"Just Wait"

A while back on Facebook, I shared a link about one mom's parenting experience with the phrase, "Just wait."

I really connected with her blog about "negative naysayers" and felt encouraged to make sure that I was a parent who always aimed to speak JOY, BLESSING, and ENCOURAGEMENT into the lives of other parents. Some people say that it's nice to hear how other people struggle when you're struggling, and that may be true, but telling another mom how horrible things WILL be (most likely), as if to "helpfully" warn them (or really just take their joy down a few levels because you yourself aren't experiencing that joy and feel insecure about it) is not just discouraging; it's causing parents to expect (and become content with) the worst instead of seek miracles of hope and healing from God that really can happen.

I experienced this constantly with Eli, from being told that natural birth was nearly impossible, not to mention a horrific experience ("just wait - you'll ask for the drugs"), to how difficult breastfeeding would be ("just wait - he could have failure to thrive if you don't supplement with formula"), to the extreme lack of sleep ("just wait - if you think you're sleep deprived NOW...you'll be a walking zombie!"). Well, I can honestly say that NONE of these predictions have been accurate (or the least bit helpful or encouraging), and I attribute that to a combination of seeking God in everything, and being obedient to His direction on how to find strength and how to parent. When we were successful in sleep-training Eli using Babywise (he started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks, was sleeping 9 hours at 9 weeks, and has been able to self-soothe and maintain an 11-12 hour night ever since), we got two reactions:

1. Babywise is EVIL. Why would your torment your child with that filth!??!?
2. Well, yeah, that might have worked with Eli because he was just an easy baby anyway! "JUST WAIT" until the next one...it won't be so easy!

First of all, I encourage anyone who is anti-Babywise to actually read the darn thing. We read the whole thing first (skeptically), and didn't find anything particularly extreme about it. In fact, it seemed to be one of the more moderate parenting approaches we found, but also made a lot of sense. Granted, we didn't use it like a play-by-play handbook; we took the concepts of it, which are largely based in Biblical principle, and applied it to our particular situation. For instance, understanding that a new baby is an amazing gift from God as an addition to a family, but NOT the center of the Universe; the marriage relationship should come first, and if there are other children, they also need to feel important and loved. If the sleeping habits of the baby are causing separation or strife in the marital relationship, there is a problem. Also, on a purely physical/metabolic level, when a baby eats more, they are able to go longer without being hungry. By simply encouraging a good eating pattern early on, and then eventually helping them get some play/stimulation/wake time, the quality and quantity of their sleep will improve. Lastly, every time a baby cries, it doesn't mean their hungry (in fact, they will accept food even when they aren't hungry because it's comforting, but then their metabolism will rely on that snacking pattern, and they won't learn other methods of comforting, like rocking, singing, snuggling with a blankie, etc.) - understanding your baby's cues and cries is REALLY important, and will help you make well-informed parenting decisions based on each individual need of the baby. We found that by following these simple concepts, Eli very naturally fell into a great sleep pattern, and learned to soothe himself to sleep very early on (and yet, he still LOVES affection, reading books and cuddling before bed, talking and laughing with us, being held and comforted when he gets a boo-boo, running up to us happily after playing in the church nursery, and all the other completely normal behaviors of a well-attached baby). AND, we rarely had to let him just cry it out - the few times we did it, he only cried for maybe 10 or 15 minutes, and then went right to sleep, because **we started early enough.** Trust me, I was a Human Development major with concentrations in developmental psychology and neurodevelopment - this kid is well attached and very healthy. In fact, he's probably the most content, happy, sweet little boy I've ever seen. And despite reaction number 2......

We started the same program with Eden very early on, and found that she certainly was a very different baby! She struggles with reflux, tummy troubles/gas, colic, AND is not a great eater. The first couple weeks were hard, as you might gather from my last post. But, I really think that God allowed all of that in order to show us (and others) how faithful He is and what He can do, even when the situation is not inherently easy. In other words, I don't think people would take us seriously had we not had some type of struggle, and Eden's struggles were by FAR worse than most of the other babies I had seen whose parents had 101 excuses as to why Babywise (or any degree of routine) just wouldn't work for them. We've been there. And come out the other side. And lived to talk about it.

The hardest part with Eden was the number one rule of Babywise - getting a full feeding at every feeding. She would snack and pass out, or throw it all up, or just not want to re-latch after she let go. I eventually learned that I could feed her for about 5-10 minutes, burp her, have some wake time (changing diapers always helped wake her up!), and then feed her a second time for 5ish minutes. At first, she would pass out during the second feeding, at which point I would just lay her down for a nap. But eventually, she would stay awake for some more play time after the second feeding, so we would end up having a modified feed-wake-feed-wake-sleep pattern, and then take a nice long nap. I also made sure to put her down in her crib for naps, which she didn't mind at all (remember, starting early prevents bad habits from forming). We would get cuddle and bonding time in during feeding and wake time, and then she would have some nice, quiet, restful naptime in her own crib. Her naps would usually last at least 1-2 hours because she got nice and full from her series of feedings. And, because she didn't gulp it all down at once, most of it stayed down a lot better (and using the Zantac really helped her be more comfortable when it did come back up), so she slept much more peacefully. After a few days of this, her night time colic pretty much subsided! We think it's because she was overall much more rested, and her digestive system was much better regulated. We also did the basic things like limiting my intake of dairy and gassy foods, and propping her more upright to sleep, but without the routine, none of these things seemed to make a difference before.

So, after a few challenging weeks of really trying to maintain this pattern, and working hard to lay her down for naps(when it was SO easy to just let her fall asleep on me!), keep her awake for good, stimulating play times, and even a handful of times letting her cry for a few minutes before falling asleep when we knew she wasn't hungry or poopy and we just needed some time for our marriage or with Eli, we finally saw the fruit of our prayers and consistency. At 6 weeks, Eden was sleeping in her own crib in her own room at night, which left Jake and I free to actually sleep deeply without all the little changes in breathing, clicks, and coos. At 7.5 weeks, she started sleeping between 6 and 6.5 hours at night - which is technically considered "sleeping through the night." She has been doing this for almost a week now, and though it varies from 5.5 to 6.5 hours, and is usually between 9:30pm and 4:30am (meaning I still have to get up once to feed her before official "wake time" at 6 or 7am), this is a HUGE deal for a baby with reflux, colic, and a poor feeder! God is SO good, and the increased sleep seems to be leading to fewer and fewer bouts of crying, too! It's all a giant cycle, and the consistency in the first few weeks when it is most challenging really paid off! Of course, we still have a ways to go, but these long, uninterrupted periods of sleep have really helped all of us. I have so much more energy during the day, and my milk supply is getting better because I am so well-rested. Even emotionally and spiritually, I feel SO much better, and that has impacted the quality of my time with Jake and Eli. What a blessing! Our bodies were made for REST - even God rested after 6 days! And I am so thankful that He has given us the guidance we need to be able to acquire it. SO! Whether you're expecting a little one, a new parent, or aren't even a parent yet, JUST WAIT! You are not doomed to any one fate, and God has amazing joy and blessings in store for you, if you would only seek Him and learn to listen! :)

Adjusting to Life with Two

Wow, I can't believe how fast the time has flown since Eden arrived! She is already 5 weeks old, and I can barely remember being pregnant - or life without her in general, for that matter. I LOVE being able to lay on my back and stomach again, and I was even back in all my pre-pregnancy clothes within a few weeks...but as challenging and tiring as pregnancy can be, I honestly kind of miss the feeling of carrying her around in my tummy and feeling her kick and hiccup. It's kind of sad to think that I might be done with pregnancies entirely, though Jake AND my mother seem convinced that I'm not done yet. Regardless, we're not done with babies, as we are definitely still hoping to adopt at some point.

Eli is adjusting well to having a new baby sister, especially since he had absolutely NO concept of what was happening with my belly and why there were new baby clothes all over the place. He is a "young" 18 month old, and was way more concerned with the buttons on the hospital bed than the fact there was a living, breathing, miniature human in mommy's arms. Even though there are challenges of having them so close in age (like his lack of understanding, and all the obliviously rough play behavior that comes with it), it's actually been REALLY nice because he's not old enough to understand that he can demand my attention; he never got used to being the "center of attention". The new baby is just another thing in his house and when mommy is busy feeding/changing/burping her, that's just how it is. His sweet little mind is still too naive and content to know (or remember) the difference, so there really haven't been many issues on that front. In the last couple weeks, he's been more involved, and has shown interest in rocking her swing, giving her kisses, holding her hand in the car, and giving(/throwing) her pacifier to(/at) her when she's fussy. He also thinks it's **HYSTERICAL** when she cries, which I can't decide is a good or bad thing (at least it doesn't stress him out??). Lastly, we've established that they can both sleep through each other's crying, which is absolutely wonderful.

Some exciting news for Eli is that we got him his very own big-boy bed, which he loves more than pretty much all of his toys combined. We just used a twin mattress on the box-spring right on the floor so he can get on and off easily, and there are no hard surfaces to cause bumps and bruises. We haven't gotten a bed rail yet, but I actually don't think we'll need one. He has fallen off onto the carpeted floor once or twice while rolling around before falling asleep, but didn't make a peep or seem phased at all. Once he's asleep he basically zonks in one or two (albeit very strange) positions for the rest of the night. We got blessed with a GREAT sleeper (well....partially, but we also worked hard to get him into a great routine, and it totally paid off!). When it's nap time or bed time, he gets all excited to climb up there and cuddle up with his blankie. Occasionally he will still get up a few times to read his books or play with his toys (and/or bang them against the door as loudly as he can) *AKA TEST THE BOUNDARIES*. In response, we calmly and firmly lay him back down and remind him that it's time to sleep; not to play. After a couple times, he usually gets it and passes out in his bed. Hopefully, addressing these battles NOW before he's at an age of total defiance will establish a good routine (THE only routine he'll ever remember) so the battles will be much less difficult later on. Note, I'm not expecting NO battles; just strategically planning ahead of time for them! ;)

And on the topic of establishing routines, we are seeing soooo much happening with Eden, too. But let's back up because I think you should know where we started to fully appreciate how far we've come. From about 2.5 seconds after Eden came into the world, she quickly made it clear that she would NOT have the same personality as her calm, collected, content, cool-cucumber of an older brother. Even the delivery nurses were taken aback by the magnitude of this little girl's scream. Jake and I call it her "death cry" because it seriously doesn't even sound human most of the time. As early as the first few days, I noticed some VERY remarkable (good and bad) ways that Eden differed from Eli:

First, she was immediately a "barracuda nurser" (if you're curious, Google it) - while I'm very relieved that both of my children were happy to nurse immediately and appeared to be great eaters, Eli was a very normal latcher and made breastfeeding seem like a piece of cake. Eden, on the other hand, would have just about sucked my nipples clear off of my body if she could have. Combine her ravenous impatience with the normal limits of milk production while I was waiting for my supply to come in, and in about 24 hours, I didn't want anything coming within a 16 foot radius of my badly bruised ta-tas. :( I was deathly afraid that I wouldn't be successful in nursing her because it was WAY too painful and milk letdown doesn't happen as well if you're horribly uncomfortable. I prayed and prayed that my supply would stay up, and that she would somehow become a calmer nurser, and after 1-2 stressful weeks of heavy duty ointment, pumping, and checking the weight scales, our prayers were answered! I can't explain what caused the change except that God heard our cries! Since then, she is still a total snacker; she eats for a few minutes and then either passes out (like out cold, can't-wake-her-up-with-a-wet-washcloth, is-she-still-alive??, kind of passing out), or she stays awake and just won't eat anything more. While it may not seem like a big deal, getting a full feeding at every feeding is the first (and only) rule of thumb in the first weeks with the Babywise program (which we used with Eli and loved loved LOVED, despite everyone's hatred and clear misunderstanding of it), and if she simply snacks, she may sleep for 15-20 minutes, then wake up hungry again, and then be grumpy because she didn't sleep for very long (because she was too hungry)....etc etc...get the picture? While Eli would eat for a good 15-20 minutes on each side, and then sleep for hours, she is QUITE the opposite! The lack of good eating habits has lead to a lack of good sleeping habits; she catnaps but is never fully rested. Don't even get me started on her nighttime sleeping "patterns" ...or lack thereof...

Second, this kid can cry. And does. At pretty much EVERYTHING. It doesn't take much to put her into a frenzy where you think she is clearly going to either make herself pass out, or just die from the drama of it all. With Eli, we could usually tell a hunger cry from a tired cry from a pain cry. In fact, we didn't even hear his pain cry until he was about 4 weeks old when I accidentally clipped the end of his finger while cutting his nails (it was SOOOOOO painful and heart-wrenching for me to hear!!). With Eden, it doesn't matter whether she has the worst heartburn in the world or is just plain bored; all her cries sound like the world is coming to an end. This makes it very difficult to determine the best plan of action in order to address her cries because we never have any idea what is causing them. Most of the time she'll even refuse the breast and push away from our attempts to comfort/cuddle her - let me tell you...that is stressful for a mommy!

"The Mayans were wrong about their predictions in 2012; they just heard Eden's cries and *THOUGHT* it was the end of the world" - Jake

Third, we guessed that some of the crying during the day was caused by reflux and/or food sensitivities. Eli never really had anything like this. As a result, we've put her on Zantac and I've been really careful about my diet (taking out dairy, gassy/spicy foods, etc.). So far, it seems to be helping, at least during the day. However, she definitely has a "witching hour" every night consisting of inconsolable crying for 1-4 hours at a time between dinner and bedtime. This is REALLY typical of colic, which is a separate thing from the reflux. Colic has no known cause, but is probably related to some combination of gas, tummy troubles, over-stimulation, and an immature neurological system. In my next post, I'll talk more about updates with all of this, but for now, just know that we are approaching it with a lot of prayer and trial-and-error...and that more than anything, the prayer seems to be helping, so thank you!!!

Lastly, Eden is incredibly advanced with so many things! We were so worried when Eli wasn't using his arms to roll over much at 4 months. Well, this little chica has rolled over multiple times already, LOVES tummy time (which was Eli's mortal enemy), holds her head up in a very controlled manner without a problem, and has been socially smiling (real, undeniable social smiles, which I'm SUCH a skeptic about given my development background) for at least a week or two now. I have a feeling she is going to continue to surprise and amaze us in the weeks to come!

When it comes down to it, my children (woah..sounds so weird to say!) are incredibly different, but both amazing gifts from God with their own unique giftings and abilities. Eli may be easy and content, but I have to remind myself that sometimes the most "difficult" or "headstrong" children become extremely intelligent, motivated, and passionate adults, and I KNOW that my little girl is going to make her mark in the world somehow. In fact, I'd like to think she's going to do it with STYLE. Haha! In the mean time, I'm doing my best to take each day at a time, raising them to love each other, serve others selflessly, be obedient to their parents, and ultimately seek after God's heart in all things. Right now, that basically means a giant balancing act to make sure both of them feel secure and nurtured, a lot of prayer to welcome God's peaceful Spirit into our home every day, and a HECK of a lot of patience as Eden endures this colicky phase and Eli begins to enter that stage where every boundary has to be thoroughly tested..over and over and over. Thank the Lord that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13), because trust me, I couldn't handle this otherwise! Instead, I'm able to see all of this for what it really is: an amazing, adventurous, growth-producing BLESSING! Big changes are already happening since I started this draft, so stay tuned to hear about Eden's progress and how the Babywise program (and lots of prayer) is really, REALLY working for us! Be blessed!

Eden's Story

There is so much to talk about with Eden's story. Sarah has covered much of the prelude with her last blog, but so much has also happened in the past month! To say that God provides would be an understatement. We found a new home, a new hospital, a new doctor for Sarah, and a new pediatrician...all within the first week of starting my new job. And then, with the help of our wonderful family and friends, we were able to move into that home just nine days before Eden was born (talk about timely provision!). I could go on about the three weeks between starting my new job and Eden's birth, but I think that would take a whole blog post all on its own. And this blog is about how Eden arrived.

At about 1:30am on Tuesday, April 24th, Sarah woke me up to let me know that she thought she *might* be in labor. After the weeks months on pins and needles waiting for Eli to arrive, I told myself I wasn't going to get excited for every single false labor pattern this time around. Unfortunately for me, Eden had other plans, and mama knew best (thank goodness). I must admit that I was a tad bit cranky as I started to get everything prepared and loaded into the car, after all we were still more than a week away and had just finished moving. Still Sarah insisted that we should at least be ready to go in case this was it. After a crazy hour of getting the car loaded up and timing irregular and non-painful contractions, Sarah informed me that she didn't want to rush out (just in case this wasn't really it), and suggested that we go back to sleep for a bit to see if anything changes.

About two hours later, Sarah woke me again to inform me that she was pretty sure this was it. I, however, still wasn't convinced, and was particularly dreading how the rest of that day would be at work. You see, although Sarah could tell based on the feel, I questioned the lack of consistency and intensity; she actually seemed more calm and at-ease than normal. We spent the next half hour deciding what we should do...going to the hospital meant waking up Eli and my parents, and of course ensured that I would have no additional sleep before work that day (a price I wasn't easily convinced to pay). On the other hand, after Eli's speedy delivery, we wanted to make sure that we arrived at the hospital with plenty of time. In the end, Sarah's instinct beat out my hesitation, so off we went.

When we arrived at my parents' house at 5:00am, they were wide awake and eager to rush us off to the hospital, however I think they were also a little bit shocked to see Sarah leisurely walk in and go on explain the necessities for the care and feeding of Eli (almost as if we were just dropping him off while we went on a date). I think that it was safe to say that my parents shared my doubts of it being the real thing at this point, and were probably also wondering if they were up early unnecessarily for a false alarm. Once Eli was settled, we were off again.

At around 5:40am we arrived at Swedish Medical Center in Issaquah. This time around we had called ahead, and had stressed to the staff that Sarah has a history of precipitous labor, so they were expecting us at the Emergency Room. The ER staff was also a bit surprised to have a lovely little chat with a very calm mom to be. I got the impression that they thought she was just another overexcited mom with a long labor in store, but despite their doubts we were brought to the triage room much, much faster than we had been with Eli (when Sarah was actually nearing the end of transition in the ER waiting room).

After arriving at triage (close to 6am), the L&D nurse was sure to call our midwife and let her know that Sarah had been admitted before starting the routine monitoring on Sarah. Once again, she was very interested to hear about Sarah's quick delivery with Eli, but probably expected something a little less exciting this time from the calm mom-to-be sitting in front of her. I think she was pretty surprised to discover that Sarah was already 5-6cm dilated. I, on the other hand was honestly quite relieved. First, this confirmed that Sarah was actually in labor, second that we had arrived with plenty of time for Sarah to labor at the hospital, and third that I wouldn't be taking Sarah home and then leaving straight for work. I gritted my teeth and set myself to the task of proving that I could support Sarah through a long and arduous labor process (and thought maybe I should get the doula on the phone). Sarah was giddy with excitement that she was finally going to have an opportunity to use all the labor techniques she had learned, including having a relaxing soak in the giant tubs they have at Swedish. However, Sarah and I hardly had a chance to finish our thoughts after the cervical exam when suddenly Sarah informed the nurse that her water had broken, and things started to get REALLY exciting.

Initially things were a little bit scary. Immediately after Sarah's water broke, Eden's heart rate began to decelerate, and Sarah's contractions became much more intense. In the next few minutes, Sarah showed incredible strength and dedication. At this point she was clearly going through transition, but despite the discomfort and anxiety, she was working with the nurse to adjust her body position to provide as much relief to Eden as possible. Still, Sarah continued to reassure me that she was feeling fine herself, and her only concerns were for little Eden. After a few tense minutes, Eden stabilized, and Sarah was left to continue labor in a very uncomfortable position while the nurse went to do everything in her power to get the midwife there as soon as humanly possible.

As we moved to the delivery room, Sarah was once again calm and comfortable. At about 6:15am, only 15 minutes after Sarah's first cervical check, the nurse decided to check her progress again. Her checks were followed by a strange smile at Sarah and an expression that said, "You can't be serious." "What...?" Sarah asked, "Am I ten?" The disbelief on the nurse's face answered that question (affirmatively).  Now the nurse had a new preoccupation: asking Sarah if she had the urge to push and frantically try to find the midwife. Luckily for the nurse, Sarah was extremely calm - to the extent that you couldn't tell she was in labor at all. In fact, she was so calm and happy that she decided to call her mother and inform her that she was currently 10cm dilated and ready to have a baby. After a brief conversation with a very excited, flabbergasted, and confused grandmother-to-be, Sarah got back to the business of having a baby. On the next contraction, Sarah informed the nurse that she was feeling the urge to push, and in response the nurse encouraged her to try to breath and not push (mainly because she was not thrilled at the prospect of delivering the baby herself). The bad news for the nurse was that Eden was now running the show, and Sarah didn't have much of a say in whether or not she would be pushing (any moms who have been in this situation are probably having a good chuckle right now). But the good news was that Sarah's midwife arrived shortly thereafter. I should mention that between pushes, much to the surprise and awe of the nurses in the room, Sarah was having a wonderful conversation with them and laughing about the whole experience. Among these conversations was the fact that she even wore a cute bathing suit top for laboring in the tub (so much for that!), and asking the midwife if she would allow me to catch Eden. After only a couple pushes, the midwife informed me that it was now or never. On the next push I had a beautiful screaming baby in my hands. Much to the disbelief of everyone in the room (myself and Sarah included), Eden Elizabeth Bollinger was born 7lbs 7oz and 20.5in long at 6:33am on Tuesday, April 24th  (If you want to get the magnitude of this whole thing, go back and note the times) I think the nurses will be talking about this one for years to come.

God had once again provided in an unbelievable way. Despite our doubts and hesitations, we had arrived in the hospital just in time. And even though most of the staff most likely initially doubted the urgency of Sarah's labor, they took us seriously and saw us as quickly as possible. Even the midwife arrived just in time for little Eden's arrival. And we have been given this amazing gift of a beautiful, healthy daughter, who we were able to take home to a comfortable and functional house - all in perfect timing. Jehovah Jireh, God our PROVIDER! What a blessing this whole experience has been.

Beautiful baby girl

A few minutes old and eating well!

My beautiful wife and daughter