The Veil was Torn

It should not come as a suprise that

what began miraculously,
endured miraculously,
and was protected miraculously...

came to completion so miraculously, too.

We are so incredibly blessed to share with you the story of Micah's birth, albeit a bit late and probably lacking some details - so sorry about that! Even after months of concerning contractions and early cervical shortening/dilation following a car accident in July, our tiniest guy patiently waited to make his entrance (and we're so relieved he did) the day before his due date and 4 days after his older sister Abri's birthday. On November 16th at 9:34am, Micah Harrison Bollinger entered the world in one contraction, cushioned by his amniotic sac and ready to defy any odds against him. He weighed a whopping 9 pounds, 4 ounces and was 21.5 inches long (all my other babies were under 7.5 pounds), which made the whole thing even more miraculous!

It was Jake's Army duty weekend and I was nearing my due date. He has duty about an hour away (plus traffic) and it was a little unsettling to think about the chances of him not making it back in time, given how quickly some of my other labors had gone. In the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, I remember feeling a few of the annoying but painless contractions I had been having for months, but this time they seemed to happening with more frequency. I got excited, thinking this might be it, but they quickly puttered out and we awoke the next morning disappointed and honestly quite sick of all these braxton hicks. Give me nothing or true, intense labor (which usually lasts all of 10 minutes for me), but leave the prodomal stuff at the door...PUL-EASE. I was so beyond ready for him to be here that the thought of unmedicated labor actually excited me - most women hit that point in the last week or two of pregnancy for their first baby, maybe around 37 weeks for their second baby....needless to say I had been D-U-N dun since 34 weeks this time. (Little did I know that he was probably close to a healthy birth weight around then anyway - no wonder why I was so worn out running after 3 toddlers all that time!). We went to bed on Sunday night after a day of no action, convinced that it really was just braxton hicks and heartbroken, but trying our best to just let go and trust in God's timing.

Lo and behold, around 4am on Monday morning, I woke up with the weird "gut" feeling again. Contractions hadn't changed at all, and were no more regular than they were a month before, but I just felt differently for some reason. I let my poor husband sleep and figured I'd try walking around a bit to see if I could start the action myself. My mom had come in from Boston a couple weeks prior and was asleep in the guest room, but I didn't want to wake her until we knew it was the real thing. After a few consistent (painless) contractions a few minutes apart, I finally woke Jake up and we decided to head to the hospital just in case (considering I can go from 3cm to a baby in my arms in less than an hour), fully expecting them to send us home. We got in the car at about 5:15am, but very quickly my contractions completely stopped and I realized I forgot my hair spray anyway (SO essential, I know...haha.  But for reals, my hair is like an inch and a half long now - I'm doomed without it), so we turned around and came home. We got home and I figured I wasn't in actually in labor, because labor doesn't just stop like that, so we hung out for a bit.

I had a few more wimpy contractions, and then one noticeably different one that felt like transition in terms of of pressure, but not pain. Suddenly confused and a little nervous, I told Jake we should probably leave again for the hospital. We got there around 6:30am but again, the contractions had mostly stopped or become really wimpy again once we were in the car, and my midwife took one look at me and hinted about probably having to send me home. Still not contracting or even feeling like I was in labor at all, they monitored me for 20 minutes, and sure enough, not a single contraction. Not even a blip in the machine! I felt pretty embarrassed and was basically in the process of packing up my stuff to go home, when they finally checked my cervix.

My midwife smiled. "Well, it's hard to reach, but you're at least at 7cm."

Um what.

...doesn't that mean I should be nearing transition?? Like, as in, having you know, uterine contractions? As in, FEELING SOMETHING?! This was possibly the weirdest labor experience ever. Here I was at 7+cm, chillaxing in the intake room, kind of wanting to just go back to sleep.

I'm NOT complaining, but it so incredibly strange to not even be contracting much, let alone feeling anything. We hung out for a bit, then mosied over to L&D. I was able to enjoy the tub, listen to music, and chat with the best L&D nurse I've ever met (Dalillah at Swedish Issaquah - track her DOWN if you end up there, people!!!). We had specifically asked for minimal staff in the room on our birth plan, so it was pretty much just a relaxing, quiet early morning with Jake, Dalillah and my midwife Kelly intermittently. I probably could have just slept if I wasn't so excited to meet this little guy! I was also pretty stinkin excited that I was having a baby without feeling like I was in labor, quite honestly. SUCH an amazing gift from God and a miracle in and of itself!

After an hour or two, my water still hadn't broken and I still wasn't feeling much at all. I started to get concerned that my labor was stalling like it did with Abri (she was basically stuck at 7-8cm for a while because of her positioning, and it felt very low-intensity as well). With Abri, we finally decided to break my water since I was sick with a cold and exhausted. This time I was doing fine, but figured if we could move labor along and have him out a little sooner without all the waiting, maybe we should consider it (it could be hours and hours more if it was anything like Abri). I mentioned the idea to my midwife, who kind of shrugged and said that we *could* do that if I really wanted to, or we could just wait for my water to break on its own, and,

"maybe you'll have a story to tell."

As she felt my stomach during one of the rare "contractions," she kind of laughed and told me that they were barely anything at all, and that by definition, I wasn't even in labor yet. She suggested we wait a little while longer and then do another cervical check and if I was still around 7, I could decide then. After a few more minutes in the spa chilling to my worship music (our nurse Dalillah loved it, too!), a cervical check confirmed that I was 9+cm! It was reassuring to know that even despite the lack of real contractions/labor pattern, I was progressing and he would (hopefully) be here soon! While in the restroom I felt some pressure with the next contraction but still no real pain. I decided to check myself to see if I "felt" complete (ok...I admittedly have no idea what that would even feel like, but I assumed I'd feel something). Much to my surprise, there was something coming out, but it wasn't hard like a baby's head (??). I asked Jake to look because my first concern was the possibility of a prolapsed cord. My brave, supportive husband who has caught 3/4 of our babies with a smile on his face (he doesn't flinch at ANY of this stuff) was a bit confused and freaked out by what he saw (which didn't look like a baby -haha), so we called the midwife in. She reassured me that it was the bag of water since it hadn't broken yet, and as exciting as it was to know I was so close, I was also a bit confused about how this was all going to go down! I didn't feel any crowning-like pain down there, and yet *something* was coming out of me....how much longer would it take for the head to follow? Could I still have hours left to go? What was happening to my body?? Am I supposed to push now or at least get into pushing position now, or something? WHY DOES IT NOT HURT? And yet, my over-analysis and painless experience was throwing my midwife into fits of giggles. She told me that she had never seen such a pain-free labor in all her practice!

After a few laughs while standing there in my wet bathing suit/bathrobe as the amniotic sac began to emerge, we went through a pretty hysterical process of trying to set up the video camera in an ideal spot to capture the delivery on film. Lots of overanalysis and discussion on my part, partly because I wasn't sure how *I* wanted to be positioned. With Eli I experienced some tailbone pain, so I figured I might want to avoid being on my back, but being on my hands and knees all exposed seemed so embarrassing and awkward to me, and I couldn't see anything that way! I feel like normally you're so outside of yourself during your labor experience that none of these things matter - even the most modest gal has NO problem showin' off ALL the goods to the world in that intense and life-altering moment of birthing a new life! But this time, I was barely in pain, and thus just as aware of my surroundings as I would be any other day or time. It definitely made things more awkward, but don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining!

I experienced a couple more contractions on my hands and knees on the bed - this time I definitely felt the intensity and the pressure, but still almost no pain at all.

Finally, I decided to switch positions (facing forward, but not flat on my back) so I could start pushing and hopefully be able to see and hold little Micah a little more easily. Wish such a great view of the emerging amniotic sac, even the nurses were enthralled. Sweet Dalillah was so excited to see an "en caul" birth that she asked if she could touch the sac while we sat there and chatted! I of course was all, "SURE! Go for it!" It felt warm and soft, and was such an amazing relief to feel versus the intense pressure of a head (my last deliveries were also very easy in their own ways, but the last few minutes of pressure/pushing was not my cup of tea). We took a couple pictures that we will NOT be sharing publicly, just so we can remember this amazing occurrence and exactly what it looked like - we are science nerds like that. A second nurse offered to hold the video camera behind us, and we waited for a contraction whilst laughing and having good conversation (about who knows what...I think I was joking about the midwife draping herself with a towel so the amniotic sac didn't burst all over her).

Seconds into the final contraction, Micah's head emerged completely covered in the amniotic sac. This is called being born "en caul," ("caul" is from the latin Caput galeatum, literally "helmeted head" and is a piece of membrane that covers the newborn's head and face). According to Wikipedia, 

birth with a caul is rare, occurring in fewer than 1 in 80,000 births. This statistic includes caul births (in which the entire body is born enclosed in the sac), which occur more frequently than authentic en-caul births; therefore authentic en-caul births are rarer than the statistic indicates. Most "en-caul" births are premature.

A baby born in this way is often referred to as a "caulbearer," or one "born behind the veil" due to the baby's face being covered. For us it was a very brief but special moment because although he was technically "born" by many medical standards, we caught a glimpse of his cloistered little world, hidden behind a shield of protection. Right before the membrane broke during the delivery of his neck/shoulders, we were able to actually witness Micah's final moments of being "veiled" from the world, though he was already "in it." With a gush of fluid, he left his tiny, solitary environment and joined ours. And my midwife was right - we ended up with such an amazing story to tell!

At this point it was very intense for me (a 9+ pound baby was coming out of me in one contraction!), but I could hear the midwife say that there was meconium (baby's first bowel movement which can sometimes happen in utero, and is dangerous if the baby inhales it during delivery), and to call the "mec unit"...I definitely started freaking out a little bit at that point and just praying that he'd be ok. We've never had any issues with meconium, so this was a first for me. As I'm hearing the calls for the "Mec unit! Mec unit!" suddenly the midwife announced the presence of a nuchal cord (umbilical cord wrapped around Micah's neck - never happened before with us). I pushed through the contraction to deliver his (giant, football-player) shoulders, and little did I know that Jake was instinctively reducing the cord (taking it off from around his neck) with the help of the midwife. There was no "Retreat! Retreat!! Something's wrong!" reaction from this loving, protective daddy! In an almost effortless motion, Jake helped reduce the cord, catch the rest of his chubby, perfect little body, and lift him up onto my chest. From the start of pushing to my first hold, it was only *one* eighty second-long contraction (we can verify this on video)! Talk about making an entrance! Knowing what I know now about his height, weight, and shape (can anyone say "shoulder distocia"?), this quick and easy delivery is something I still thank God for, along with the total of 3 relaxing, nearly painless hours at the hospital without even an IV line in.

Those first few seconds were a little more nerve-racking than my other births because I was of course concerned about any complications from the meconium exposure and nuchal cord. And yet, Micah pulled through like a champ! He immediately started screaming a good strong cry, which greatly reduced the concern about meconium in his lungs - the mec unit didn't end up even being necessary (it was likely that he had *just* relieved himself while in the birth canal since that part happened so quickly). He was a wonderful shade of pink and suffered no ill effects from the cord around his neck. His APGAR scores were 9 and 9!

All in all, when I think about the number of things that could have gone wrong from day one of little Micah's conception to our first embrace, I am literally, jaw-droppingly, on-my-knees, in AWE of how clearly and divinely protected he was. He is beginning this life with a beautiful testimony of God's provision and protection, and I'm all the more reminded of the reason we chose the name "Micah" - because truly, there is NONE like God. A God who creates life out of nothing, sustains us against all odds, protects us according to His plan and purpose, and redeems us into His presence through the death of his Son, who by paying for the consequences of our sin on the cross, **tore down the VEIL** in the temple that separated us from full communion with God (prior to that moment, only the most high priests were allowed to enter the holiest of holy places within the temple behind the curtain in order to commune with God).

And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. And behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth shook and the rocks were split. -Matthew 27:50-51

In the same way that our precious son broke through into the full experience of our presence, the torn veil of the temple symbolized a breaking of the boundaries so that no matter who we are, what we have done, or where we are in life, we are *welcomed* into God's love and presence through relationship with His son Jesus. We are so blessed by Micah and his magnificent arrival, and can't wait to see how his testimony continues!

Below is a video we put together of his birth. But it's more than just a birth video; it's his story. It's the amazing way God brought him to us, and showed us His own glory in the process. (Please be forewarned - it is tasteful, but it *is* a birth - Watch at your own discretion)