Eli is adjusting well to having a new baby sister, especially since he had absolutely NO concept of what was happening with my belly and why there were new baby clothes all over the place. He is a "young" 18 month old, and was way more concerned with the buttons on the hospital bed than the fact there was a living, breathing, miniature human in mommy's arms. Even though there are challenges of having them so close in age (like his lack of understanding, and all the obliviously rough play behavior that comes with it), it's actually been REALLY nice because he's not old enough to understand that he can demand my attention; he never got used to being the "center of attention". The new baby is just another thing in his house and when mommy is busy feeding/changing/burping her, that's just how it is. His sweet little mind is still too naive and content to know (or remember) the difference, so there really haven't been many issues on that front. In the last couple weeks, he's been more involved, and has shown interest in rocking her swing, giving her kisses, holding her hand in the car, and giving(/throwing) her pacifier to(/at) her when she's fussy. He also thinks it's **HYSTERICAL** when she cries, which I can't decide is a good or bad thing (at least it doesn't stress him out??). Lastly, we've established that they can both sleep through each other's crying, which is absolutely wonderful.
Some exciting news for Eli is that we got him his very own big-boy bed, which he loves more than pretty much all of his toys combined. We just used a twin mattress on the box-spring right on the floor so he can get on and off easily, and there are no hard surfaces to cause bumps and bruises. We haven't gotten a bed rail yet, but I actually don't think we'll need one. He has fallen off onto the carpeted floor once or twice while rolling around before falling asleep, but didn't make a peep or seem phased at all. Once he's asleep he basically zonks in one or two (albeit very strange) positions for the rest of the night. We got blessed with a GREAT sleeper (well....partially, but we also worked hard to get him into a great routine, and it totally paid off!). When it's nap time or bed time, he gets all excited to climb up there and cuddle up with his blankie. Occasionally he will still get up a few times to read his books or play with his toys (and/or bang them against the door as loudly as he can) *AKA TEST THE BOUNDARIES*. In response, we calmly and firmly lay him back down and remind him that it's time to sleep; not to play. After a couple times, he usually gets it and passes out in his bed. Hopefully, addressing these battles NOW before he's at an age of total defiance will establish a good routine (THE only routine he'll ever remember) so the battles will be much less difficult later on. Note, I'm not expecting NO battles; just strategically planning ahead of time for them! ;)
And on the topic of establishing routines, we are seeing soooo much happening with Eden, too. But let's back up because I think you should know where we started to fully appreciate how far we've come. From about 2.5 seconds after Eden came into the world, she quickly made it clear that she would NOT have the same personality as her calm, collected, content, cool-cucumber of an older brother. Even the delivery nurses were taken aback by the magnitude of this little girl's scream. Jake and I call it her "death cry" because it seriously doesn't even sound human most of the time. As early as the first few days, I noticed some VERY remarkable (good and bad) ways that Eden differed from Eli:
First, she was immediately a "barracuda nurser" (if you're curious, Google it) - while I'm very relieved that both of my children were happy to nurse immediately and appeared to be great eaters, Eli was a very normal latcher and made breastfeeding seem like a piece of cake. Eden, on the other hand, would have just about sucked my nipples clear off of my body if she could have. Combine her ravenous impatience with the normal limits of milk production while I was waiting for my supply to come in, and in about 24 hours, I didn't want anything coming within a 16 foot radius of my badly bruised ta-tas. :( I was deathly afraid that I wouldn't be successful in nursing her because it was WAY too painful and milk letdown doesn't happen as well if you're horribly uncomfortable. I prayed and prayed that my supply would stay up, and that she would somehow become a calmer nurser, and after 1-2 stressful weeks of heavy duty ointment, pumping, and checking the weight scales, our prayers were answered! I can't explain what caused the change except that God heard our cries! Since then, she is still a total snacker; she eats for a few minutes and then either passes out (like out cold, can't-wake-her-up-with-a-wet-washcloth, is-she-still-alive??, kind of passing out), or she stays awake and just won't eat anything more. While it may not seem like a big deal, getting a full feeding at every feeding is the first (and only) rule of thumb in the first weeks with the Babywise program (which we used with Eli and loved loved LOVED, despite everyone's hatred and clear misunderstanding of it), and if she simply snacks, she may sleep for 15-20 minutes, then wake up hungry again, and then be grumpy because she didn't sleep for very long (because she was too hungry)....etc etc...get the picture? While Eli would eat for a good 15-20 minutes on each side, and then sleep for hours, she is QUITE the opposite! The lack of good eating habits has lead to a lack of good sleeping habits; she catnaps but is never fully rested. Don't even get me started on her nighttime sleeping "patterns" ...or lack thereof...
Second, this kid can cry. And does. At pretty much EVERYTHING. It doesn't take much to put her into a frenzy where you think she is clearly going to either make herself pass out, or just die from the drama of it all. With Eli, we could usually tell a hunger cry from a tired cry from a pain cry. In fact, we didn't even hear his pain cry until he was about 4 weeks old when I accidentally clipped the end of his finger while cutting his nails (it was SOOOOOO painful and heart-wrenching for me to hear!!). With Eden, it doesn't matter whether she has the worst heartburn in the world or is just plain bored; all her cries sound like the world is coming to an end. This makes it very difficult to determine the best plan of action in order to address her cries because we never have any idea what is causing them. Most of the time she'll even refuse the breast and push away from our attempts to comfort/cuddle her - let me tell you...that is stressful for a mommy!
Third, we guessed that some of the crying during the day was caused by reflux and/or food sensitivities. Eli never really had anything like this. As a result, we've put her on Zantac and I've been really careful about my diet (taking out dairy, gassy/spicy foods, etc.). So far, it seems to be helping, at least during the day. However, she definitely has a "witching hour" every night consisting of inconsolable crying for 1-4 hours at a time between dinner and bedtime. This is REALLY typical of colic, which is a separate thing from the reflux. Colic has no known cause, but is probably related to some combination of gas, tummy troubles, over-stimulation, and an immature neurological system. In my next post, I'll talk more about updates with all of this, but for now, just know that we are approaching it with a lot of prayer and trial-and-error...and that more than anything, the prayer seems to be helping, so thank you!!!
Lastly, Eden is incredibly advanced with so many things! We were so worried when Eli wasn't using his arms to roll over much at 4 months. Well, this little chica has rolled over multiple times already, LOVES tummy time (which was Eli's mortal enemy), holds her head up in a very controlled manner without a problem, and has been socially smiling (real, undeniable social smiles, which I'm SUCH a skeptic about given my development background) for at least a week or two now. I have a feeling she is going to continue to surprise and amaze us in the weeks to come!
When it comes down to it, my children (woah..sounds so weird to say!) are incredibly different, but both amazing gifts from God with their own unique giftings and abilities. Eli may be easy and content, but I have to remind myself that sometimes the most "difficult" or "headstrong" children become extremely intelligent, motivated, and passionate adults, and I KNOW that my little girl is going to make her mark in the world somehow. In fact, I'd like to think she's going to do it with STYLE. Haha! In the mean time, I'm doing my best to take each day at a time, raising them to love each other, serve others selflessly, be obedient to their parents, and ultimately seek after God's heart in all things. Right now, that basically means a giant balancing act to make sure both of them feel secure and nurtured, a lot of prayer to welcome God's peaceful Spirit into our home every day, and a HECK of a lot of patience as Eden endures this colicky phase and Eli begins to enter that stage where every boundary has to be thoroughly tested..over and over and over. Thank the Lord that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13), because trust me, I couldn't handle this otherwise! Instead, I'm able to see all of this for what it really is: an amazing, adventurous, growth-producing BLESSING! Big changes are already happening since I started this draft, so stay tuned to hear about Eden's progress and how the Babywise program (and lots of prayer) is really, REALLY working for us! Be blessed!
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