"Chânak." Mind Officially Blown.

I love it when God takes something with which I'm already familiar, and decides to blow my freakin' mind with it. LOVE IT! So much so, that I am currently sitting in bed next to my snoring husband at close to midnight because I couldn't fall asleep without writing about it. I've been reading "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel, and although there are a couple tiny parts of it that didn't resonate well with me, overall I think it's an amazing book. Growing up in a REALLY strict grace-less environment, I never learned how to truly trust God and live as a Christian in a secular world (without living in some degree of fear). Fortunately, God was gracious enough to teach me these things as a young adult, and this book is helping me recognize how I can teach my children these same concepts early on and hopefully spare them some of the brokenness I had to work through in order to get where I am. As I was reading tonight, I came across Proverbs 22:6:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

You don't know how many times I've heard this verse. Probably starting from childhood when my mom would use it to explain why I had to go to church or not use curse words. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with either of those things, but what I love about this book is that it explains how to *teach* your children how to love and long for the character of God, rather than follow some set of principles for the sake of looking obedient. Interestingly, I guess I never really understood the meaning behind this verse! As many Christians (like my mom) understand it, it's about raising a child to be a "good Christian" so they will never depart from that lifestyle. WOW...does God have something in store for us, fellow parents! And I'll give you a hint: it involves His *GRACE* to us as parents!

So, let me start with what initially blew my mind. The phrase "in the way he should go" does not mean "in the righteous/religious way," but rather, in the path that is in harmony with that particular child's disposition, talents, and character. The author puts it like this:

"Some translations say 'train him up in his way,' which is actually a more literal rendering of the Hebrew word dereck. One of the most accurate English synonyms for dereck would be the word bents. This is how this same word is translated in Psalm 11 referring to the bend of a bow. If you were making a bow out of a tree limb, you'd first study the limb to figure out what its natural 'bent' is. Then you'd string it. If you didn't do this, when you pulled the bow back, it would snap because it was strung against its natural bent rather than with it. In the same way, we are to groom our children according to their natural bents. This means coming alongside them with a plan to help leverage their natural and unique gifts and skills into highly developed assets that they can lean on in the future." (p. 111-112)

In the back of my head since Eli was born, I kept holding myself to some imaginary standard that I had to raise Him (and now Eden) to be the perfect "Christian." I know it sounds ridiculous and maybe even a little prideful, but I wanted them to pray well, speak well, worship well, play music well, and have a heart for the homeless, share the gospel with courage...and on and on and on (though those are all wonderful things, and many do happen naturally as you follow Christ). That is a heck of a LOT of weight on my shoulders, and as I've come to learn, it's not a burden that God has placed on me, but rather one I've given myself! The "way my children should go" is not some ideal singular *WAY* that only Christ Himself could accomplish. God has given me the grace to understand that my prime role as a parent is raising my children to first and foremost LOVE, SEEK, and TRUST God, but also come to an understanding of how God made them unique for His purpose.

The pressure came off of me tonight and I suddenly felt better able to breathe about this whole parenting thing! Because you know what? Exploring the unique personalities and giftings of my children in order to help them live for God the very best way they can is truly one of my greatest joys. It doesn't feel like a burden at all, but rather an amazing gift from God that I don't deserve. As I'm learning, Eli is not the most verbal child, but he LOVES to sing and dance with me when we listen to worship music (or any music, for that matter)! It's like all his little boundaries and limitations fall off and he just revels in it! He is also so, so, SOOOO sweet and content. Almost nothing upsets him or scares him - even during my pregnancy we prayed for the spiritual fruits for him - particularly peace, gentleness and self-control. After just 2 years, I can see the ways God made him so unique, and I can't wait to help him explore and develop these characteristics for God's glory! Eden is completely unique in different ways. She is my little warrior princess - I can already tell! God has given her a fire in her spirit and she is going to do amazing things on the spiritual battleground in her lifetime. She learns quickly, communicates well, and holds her ground...just like her spit-fire (ok...stubborn) momma. And those are qualities God can use in powerful ways! This parenting thing is seriously the best "job" in the world!

God blew my mind another way tonight, too. The first phrase in that verse is "train up," which, low and behold, is the Hebrew word "chânak." So I'm sitting here with my handy-dandy Key Word Study Bible (KJV), and I decide to look up this term in the Strong's Concordance at the back of the book. It's #2596, if you are interested. It means to initiate, discipline, dedicate, or train up. Under the description, it says that one use "is related to the dedication of a house or temple"...hmmmm...why does this sound familiar??

Then I look. The word is the primitive root for the next word (2597/2598): chânukkâh, which literally means "dedication." Guess what TOMORROW is, people?? Yeah, God chose to reveal this to me the day before the Festival of Dedication. Seriously. Mind. Blown.

I'm some combination of too giddy and too exhausted to really fully understand the full relationship between the dedication we as parents are called to have regarding raising our children to glorify God with their lives (Proverbs 22:6), and the miraculously provision and rededication of the Temple after Judah Maccabee and the Jewish army's victory over the Seleucids. Interestingly this Hebrew term "chânak" is also used in Hebrew literature to describe a method midwives used to stimulate the sucking reflex in newborns (covering their finger with the juice of crushed grapes or dates and massaging the baby's palate). This was used to both stimulate sucking and cleanse the baby's mouth of amniotic fluids. Additionally, the dedication ("chânukkâh") of the Temple began with a purification, or cleansing, since the Greeks had desecrated the holiest areas. As I pray about what all this means, God is starting to reveal to me that part of training up my children is the concept of asking God to purify them from ungodly influences. It may sound weird (or maybe extreme?), but there is so much hate, doubt, idolatry (money, power - you name it), fear, indifference, etc. in the world around us. These things are not of God, and they make their way into our children's minds and hearts, often unbeknownst to us. There is a battle going on out there, whether you believe it or not, and perhaps one of the first steps toward "training up" our children in the way they should go is to be deliberately and prayerfully protective about keeping them "clean" in the same way newborns' airways have to be clean, and the same way God required the Temple to be clean. I have to pray and think a LOT more about this all...I'm just beginning to get revelation on it. But WOW, I am going to have a whole new appreciation for Hanukkah, which starts tomorrow! If you have any added insight to share about this, please leave a comment! :)

Ok, maybe I should try to get some shut-eye now... Hanukkah Sameakh!