Happy Hanukkah!

So, even though God didn't explicitly ordain this particular holiday in the Bible (like Passover, for instance), Jesus Himself made it clear that it was worth celebrating! Instead of going into all the details about what it is and why our family celebrates it, I thought it would be helpful to link to my wonderful friend Jenn's blog, because she does such a brilliant job of explaining it all!

So here you have it!

http://www.girlseekstruth.com/2008/12/happy-h-word.html

and an update with some additional, AWESOME, God-totally-loves-and-uses-WOMEN-in-powerful-ways information:

http://www.girlseekstruth.com/2010/12/apparently-its-not-just-about-maccabees.html

I did want to also add something about the dreidel game (not a law, but a custom associated with Hanukkah)! Some rabbis maintain that back when the Jews were being persecuted by the Greeks, and the study of the Torah had been outlawed, children (and adults) would gather to secretly study God's Word, even in the streets where there was a risk of a Greek official walking by. When one of them did, they would quickly pretend to be playing dreidels as a cover. Additionally, the Hebrew letters on the 4 sides of the dreidel (and the words they represent) are another teaching device. The four letters are Nun, Gimel, Hey, and Shin, which spell out the acronym Nes Gadol Haya Sham ("A Miracle Happened There" - the miracle, of course, being the miracle of Hanukkah). Any number of people can play dreidel, and it's a great game for young children!

To play,
1. Each player begins the game with an equal number of game pieces (about 10-15) such as pennies, nuts, chocolate chips, raisins, matchsticks, etc. "Gelt" (chocolate coins) work well too!
3. At the beginning of each round, every participant puts one game piece into the center "pot." In addition, every time the pot is empty or has only one game piece left, every player should put one in the pot.
4. Every time it's your turn, spin the dreidel once. Depending on the outcome, you give or get game pieces from the pot:
   a) Nun means "nisht" or "nothing" (Yiddish). The player does nothing.
   b) Gimmel  means "gantz" or "everything" (Yiddish).  The player gets everything in the pot.
   c) Hey means "halb" or "half" (Yiddish). The player gets half of the pot. (If there is an odd number of pieces in the pot, the player takes half of the total plus one).
   d) Shin means "shtel" or "put in" (Yiddish). The player adds a game piece to the pot.
5. If you find that you have no game pieces left, you are either "out" or may ask a fellow player for a "loan."
6. When one person has won everything, that round of the game is over!

Start lighting your menorahs tomorrow night, everyone! Check out this totally blinged-out one I found! :)

"Chânak." Mind Officially Blown.

I love it when God takes something with which I'm already familiar, and decides to blow my freakin' mind with it. LOVE IT! So much so, that I am currently sitting in bed next to my snoring husband at close to midnight because I couldn't fall asleep without writing about it. I've been reading "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel, and although there are a couple tiny parts of it that didn't resonate well with me, overall I think it's an amazing book. Growing up in a REALLY strict grace-less environment, I never learned how to truly trust God and live as a Christian in a secular world (without living in some degree of fear). Fortunately, God was gracious enough to teach me these things as a young adult, and this book is helping me recognize how I can teach my children these same concepts early on and hopefully spare them some of the brokenness I had to work through in order to get where I am. As I was reading tonight, I came across Proverbs 22:6:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

You don't know how many times I've heard this verse. Probably starting from childhood when my mom would use it to explain why I had to go to church or not use curse words. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with either of those things, but what I love about this book is that it explains how to *teach* your children how to love and long for the character of God, rather than follow some set of principles for the sake of looking obedient. Interestingly, I guess I never really understood the meaning behind this verse! As many Christians (like my mom) understand it, it's about raising a child to be a "good Christian" so they will never depart from that lifestyle. WOW...does God have something in store for us, fellow parents! And I'll give you a hint: it involves His *GRACE* to us as parents!

So, let me start with what initially blew my mind. The phrase "in the way he should go" does not mean "in the righteous/religious way," but rather, in the path that is in harmony with that particular child's disposition, talents, and character. The author puts it like this:

"Some translations say 'train him up in his way,' which is actually a more literal rendering of the Hebrew word dereck. One of the most accurate English synonyms for dereck would be the word bents. This is how this same word is translated in Psalm 11 referring to the bend of a bow. If you were making a bow out of a tree limb, you'd first study the limb to figure out what its natural 'bent' is. Then you'd string it. If you didn't do this, when you pulled the bow back, it would snap because it was strung against its natural bent rather than with it. In the same way, we are to groom our children according to their natural bents. This means coming alongside them with a plan to help leverage their natural and unique gifts and skills into highly developed assets that they can lean on in the future." (p. 111-112)

In the back of my head since Eli was born, I kept holding myself to some imaginary standard that I had to raise Him (and now Eden) to be the perfect "Christian." I know it sounds ridiculous and maybe even a little prideful, but I wanted them to pray well, speak well, worship well, play music well, and have a heart for the homeless, share the gospel with courage...and on and on and on (though those are all wonderful things, and many do happen naturally as you follow Christ). That is a heck of a LOT of weight on my shoulders, and as I've come to learn, it's not a burden that God has placed on me, but rather one I've given myself! The "way my children should go" is not some ideal singular *WAY* that only Christ Himself could accomplish. God has given me the grace to understand that my prime role as a parent is raising my children to first and foremost LOVE, SEEK, and TRUST God, but also come to an understanding of how God made them unique for His purpose.

The pressure came off of me tonight and I suddenly felt better able to breathe about this whole parenting thing! Because you know what? Exploring the unique personalities and giftings of my children in order to help them live for God the very best way they can is truly one of my greatest joys. It doesn't feel like a burden at all, but rather an amazing gift from God that I don't deserve. As I'm learning, Eli is not the most verbal child, but he LOVES to sing and dance with me when we listen to worship music (or any music, for that matter)! It's like all his little boundaries and limitations fall off and he just revels in it! He is also so, so, SOOOO sweet and content. Almost nothing upsets him or scares him - even during my pregnancy we prayed for the spiritual fruits for him - particularly peace, gentleness and self-control. After just 2 years, I can see the ways God made him so unique, and I can't wait to help him explore and develop these characteristics for God's glory! Eden is completely unique in different ways. She is my little warrior princess - I can already tell! God has given her a fire in her spirit and she is going to do amazing things on the spiritual battleground in her lifetime. She learns quickly, communicates well, and holds her ground...just like her spit-fire (ok...stubborn) momma. And those are qualities God can use in powerful ways! This parenting thing is seriously the best "job" in the world!

God blew my mind another way tonight, too. The first phrase in that verse is "train up," which, low and behold, is the Hebrew word "chânak." So I'm sitting here with my handy-dandy Key Word Study Bible (KJV), and I decide to look up this term in the Strong's Concordance at the back of the book. It's #2596, if you are interested. It means to initiate, discipline, dedicate, or train up. Under the description, it says that one use "is related to the dedication of a house or temple"...hmmmm...why does this sound familiar??

Then I look. The word is the primitive root for the next word (2597/2598): chânukkâh, which literally means "dedication." Guess what TOMORROW is, people?? Yeah, God chose to reveal this to me the day before the Festival of Dedication. Seriously. Mind. Blown.

I'm some combination of too giddy and too exhausted to really fully understand the full relationship between the dedication we as parents are called to have regarding raising our children to glorify God with their lives (Proverbs 22:6), and the miraculously provision and rededication of the Temple after Judah Maccabee and the Jewish army's victory over the Seleucids. Interestingly this Hebrew term "chânak" is also used in Hebrew literature to describe a method midwives used to stimulate the sucking reflex in newborns (covering their finger with the juice of crushed grapes or dates and massaging the baby's palate). This was used to both stimulate sucking and cleanse the baby's mouth of amniotic fluids. Additionally, the dedication ("chânukkâh") of the Temple began with a purification, or cleansing, since the Greeks had desecrated the holiest areas. As I pray about what all this means, God is starting to reveal to me that part of training up my children is the concept of asking God to purify them from ungodly influences. It may sound weird (or maybe extreme?), but there is so much hate, doubt, idolatry (money, power - you name it), fear, indifference, etc. in the world around us. These things are not of God, and they make their way into our children's minds and hearts, often unbeknownst to us. There is a battle going on out there, whether you believe it or not, and perhaps one of the first steps toward "training up" our children in the way they should go is to be deliberately and prayerfully protective about keeping them "clean" in the same way newborns' airways have to be clean, and the same way God required the Temple to be clean. I have to pray and think a LOT more about this all...I'm just beginning to get revelation on it. But WOW, I am going to have a whole new appreciation for Hanukkah, which starts tomorrow! If you have any added insight to share about this, please leave a comment! :)

Ok, maybe I should try to get some shut-eye now... Hanukkah Sameakh!

"2 Babies Under 2"

My days of being able to affectionately say I have 2 babies under 2 have officially ended, and it honestly makes me really sad! Eli turned 2 years old on October 30th, and I still get can't over the fact that he's not my little baby anymore! In the last few months, he has been growing like CRAZY, and our worries about his unique developmental pace have pretty much dissipated. For a kid who likes to take his time, he certainly had no problem growing his word repertoire to almost 100 words in the last 3 or 4 months alone! He's also very adept at throwing wonderfully age-appropriate temper tantrums and whimpering "ooohh noooooo" if a nap time is missed or he doesn't get his crackers (aka "crack"...aka "rocks"). His favorite things are reading books, singing (ABCs, Row Your Boat, Twinkle Twinkle or "tka tka," Jesus Loves Me, and Itsy Bitsy), eating (the variety goes from pesto/hummus/greek olives/curry chicken to ONLY crackers, depending on the day), talking to Meme on Skype, playing his musical instruments, taking care of his baby sister (i.e. stuffing her pacifier in her mouth or throwing it at her, jamming her bottle down her throat, squeezing the life out of her feet, etc. - all the things a good big brother should do), water play, building blocks, talking on the phone (which can be any available object), and giving Mama and Dada plenty of hugs and kisses. Everyone complains about how tough the "terrible twos" are, and I understand that it has it own set of challenges, but I think they are the farthest thing from terrible. Eli is so interactive, not just with us, but with his sister and his friends at school. He's been going to a "pre" pre-school two times a week for about an hour to get some nice exposure to socializing, structure, different types of play, etc. They have a combination of typically-developing kids and kids with special needs, and I love that Eli is learning compassion and patience in addition to social play skills . Also, he made a great friend next door. Our little neighbor Finley is 18 months old, but they follow each other around like the best of friends, and hold each other's hands wherever they go.

Eli really continues to be such an amazing light with his own special giftings as he grows, and it warms my heart to see how he touches all the lives around him, including mine! Little Eden is not so little anymore! She turned 6 months old on October 24th, and for a petite little thing that had so many issues with colic/reflux/breastfeeding/bottle feeding/gaining weight, she is just as chipper as you can imagine! She is also officially OUT of the sub-5th percentile for weight, and finally closer to the 25th percentile. Still doesn't sound like much, but her chunky little thighs and tummy says it all - she is one healthy little chica now that she finally decided eating isn't her mortal enemy. Beyond that, she has been rolling in both directions since about 3 months, can scoot all over the floor, sit up independently for extended amounts of time, and even babble imitatively. She is ALWAYS moving!! EGADS. I tried to tell people while she was still in the womb, but no one believed me that she moved any more than any other fetus. Yeah. I hope infantile arm/leg flailing isn't an indicator of childhood ADHD or something. On a good note, she continues to sleep 10-12 hours through the night, which started at about 10 weeks, and in combination with Eli's amazing sleeping habits, gives Jake and I a consistent "adult-time" every night after 7:30 or 8pm. It's amazing. AH. MAZE. ING. Other than that, we are now working on solid foods. She didn't care for avocado, but loves sweet potato, and I recently steamed/pureed up a bunch of carrots and spinach, so we'll see how those go in the next few weeks. She finally decided to take a bottle about a month ago, and now she even holds it herself, which is quite nice. I'm still breastfeeding throughout the day, but she takes either pumped milk or formula by bottle about 40-50% of the time. It's been nice to add "date night" back into our vocabulary again. These days are going by FAST, but I wouldn't trade them for anything, and as much as I miss each day that goes by with my "2 babies under 2," I am so excited about all the new things that each day holds, and the growing relationship between my sweet babies. "Blessed" doesn't even begin to explain life right now!

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. EVERY DAY I will praise you, and extol your name for ever and ever. -Psalm 145:1-2

"Just Wait"

A while back on Facebook, I shared a link about one mom's parenting experience with the phrase, "Just wait."

I really connected with her blog about "negative naysayers" and felt encouraged to make sure that I was a parent who always aimed to speak JOY, BLESSING, and ENCOURAGEMENT into the lives of other parents. Some people say that it's nice to hear how other people struggle when you're struggling, and that may be true, but telling another mom how horrible things WILL be (most likely), as if to "helpfully" warn them (or really just take their joy down a few levels because you yourself aren't experiencing that joy and feel insecure about it) is not just discouraging; it's causing parents to expect (and become content with) the worst instead of seek miracles of hope and healing from God that really can happen.

I experienced this constantly with Eli, from being told that natural birth was nearly impossible, not to mention a horrific experience ("just wait - you'll ask for the drugs"), to how difficult breastfeeding would be ("just wait - he could have failure to thrive if you don't supplement with formula"), to the extreme lack of sleep ("just wait - if you think you're sleep deprived NOW...you'll be a walking zombie!"). Well, I can honestly say that NONE of these predictions have been accurate (or the least bit helpful or encouraging), and I attribute that to a combination of seeking God in everything, and being obedient to His direction on how to find strength and how to parent. When we were successful in sleep-training Eli using Babywise (he started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks, was sleeping 9 hours at 9 weeks, and has been able to self-soothe and maintain an 11-12 hour night ever since), we got two reactions:

1. Babywise is EVIL. Why would your torment your child with that filth!??!?
2. Well, yeah, that might have worked with Eli because he was just an easy baby anyway! "JUST WAIT" until the next one...it won't be so easy!

First of all, I encourage anyone who is anti-Babywise to actually read the darn thing. We read the whole thing first (skeptically), and didn't find anything particularly extreme about it. In fact, it seemed to be one of the more moderate parenting approaches we found, but also made a lot of sense. Granted, we didn't use it like a play-by-play handbook; we took the concepts of it, which are largely based in Biblical principle, and applied it to our particular situation. For instance, understanding that a new baby is an amazing gift from God as an addition to a family, but NOT the center of the Universe; the marriage relationship should come first, and if there are other children, they also need to feel important and loved. If the sleeping habits of the baby are causing separation or strife in the marital relationship, there is a problem. Also, on a purely physical/metabolic level, when a baby eats more, they are able to go longer without being hungry. By simply encouraging a good eating pattern early on, and then eventually helping them get some play/stimulation/wake time, the quality and quantity of their sleep will improve. Lastly, every time a baby cries, it doesn't mean their hungry (in fact, they will accept food even when they aren't hungry because it's comforting, but then their metabolism will rely on that snacking pattern, and they won't learn other methods of comforting, like rocking, singing, snuggling with a blankie, etc.) - understanding your baby's cues and cries is REALLY important, and will help you make well-informed parenting decisions based on each individual need of the baby. We found that by following these simple concepts, Eli very naturally fell into a great sleep pattern, and learned to soothe himself to sleep very early on (and yet, he still LOVES affection, reading books and cuddling before bed, talking and laughing with us, being held and comforted when he gets a boo-boo, running up to us happily after playing in the church nursery, and all the other completely normal behaviors of a well-attached baby). AND, we rarely had to let him just cry it out - the few times we did it, he only cried for maybe 10 or 15 minutes, and then went right to sleep, because **we started early enough.** Trust me, I was a Human Development major with concentrations in developmental psychology and neurodevelopment - this kid is well attached and very healthy. In fact, he's probably the most content, happy, sweet little boy I've ever seen. And despite reaction number 2......

We started the same program with Eden very early on, and found that she certainly was a very different baby! She struggles with reflux, tummy troubles/gas, colic, AND is not a great eater. The first couple weeks were hard, as you might gather from my last post. But, I really think that God allowed all of that in order to show us (and others) how faithful He is and what He can do, even when the situation is not inherently easy. In other words, I don't think people would take us seriously had we not had some type of struggle, and Eden's struggles were by FAR worse than most of the other babies I had seen whose parents had 101 excuses as to why Babywise (or any degree of routine) just wouldn't work for them. We've been there. And come out the other side. And lived to talk about it.

The hardest part with Eden was the number one rule of Babywise - getting a full feeding at every feeding. She would snack and pass out, or throw it all up, or just not want to re-latch after she let go. I eventually learned that I could feed her for about 5-10 minutes, burp her, have some wake time (changing diapers always helped wake her up!), and then feed her a second time for 5ish minutes. At first, she would pass out during the second feeding, at which point I would just lay her down for a nap. But eventually, she would stay awake for some more play time after the second feeding, so we would end up having a modified feed-wake-feed-wake-sleep pattern, and then take a nice long nap. I also made sure to put her down in her crib for naps, which she didn't mind at all (remember, starting early prevents bad habits from forming). We would get cuddle and bonding time in during feeding and wake time, and then she would have some nice, quiet, restful naptime in her own crib. Her naps would usually last at least 1-2 hours because she got nice and full from her series of feedings. And, because she didn't gulp it all down at once, most of it stayed down a lot better (and using the Zantac really helped her be more comfortable when it did come back up), so she slept much more peacefully. After a few days of this, her night time colic pretty much subsided! We think it's because she was overall much more rested, and her digestive system was much better regulated. We also did the basic things like limiting my intake of dairy and gassy foods, and propping her more upright to sleep, but without the routine, none of these things seemed to make a difference before.

So, after a few challenging weeks of really trying to maintain this pattern, and working hard to lay her down for naps(when it was SO easy to just let her fall asleep on me!), keep her awake for good, stimulating play times, and even a handful of times letting her cry for a few minutes before falling asleep when we knew she wasn't hungry or poopy and we just needed some time for our marriage or with Eli, we finally saw the fruit of our prayers and consistency. At 6 weeks, Eden was sleeping in her own crib in her own room at night, which left Jake and I free to actually sleep deeply without all the little changes in breathing, clicks, and coos. At 7.5 weeks, she started sleeping between 6 and 6.5 hours at night - which is technically considered "sleeping through the night." She has been doing this for almost a week now, and though it varies from 5.5 to 6.5 hours, and is usually between 9:30pm and 4:30am (meaning I still have to get up once to feed her before official "wake time" at 6 or 7am), this is a HUGE deal for a baby with reflux, colic, and a poor feeder! God is SO good, and the increased sleep seems to be leading to fewer and fewer bouts of crying, too! It's all a giant cycle, and the consistency in the first few weeks when it is most challenging really paid off! Of course, we still have a ways to go, but these long, uninterrupted periods of sleep have really helped all of us. I have so much more energy during the day, and my milk supply is getting better because I am so well-rested. Even emotionally and spiritually, I feel SO much better, and that has impacted the quality of my time with Jake and Eli. What a blessing! Our bodies were made for REST - even God rested after 6 days! And I am so thankful that He has given us the guidance we need to be able to acquire it. SO! Whether you're expecting a little one, a new parent, or aren't even a parent yet, JUST WAIT! You are not doomed to any one fate, and God has amazing joy and blessings in store for you, if you would only seek Him and learn to listen! :)

Adjusting to Life with Two

Wow, I can't believe how fast the time has flown since Eden arrived! She is already 5 weeks old, and I can barely remember being pregnant - or life without her in general, for that matter. I LOVE being able to lay on my back and stomach again, and I was even back in all my pre-pregnancy clothes within a few weeks...but as challenging and tiring as pregnancy can be, I honestly kind of miss the feeling of carrying her around in my tummy and feeling her kick and hiccup. It's kind of sad to think that I might be done with pregnancies entirely, though Jake AND my mother seem convinced that I'm not done yet. Regardless, we're not done with babies, as we are definitely still hoping to adopt at some point.

Eli is adjusting well to having a new baby sister, especially since he had absolutely NO concept of what was happening with my belly and why there were new baby clothes all over the place. He is a "young" 18 month old, and was way more concerned with the buttons on the hospital bed than the fact there was a living, breathing, miniature human in mommy's arms. Even though there are challenges of having them so close in age (like his lack of understanding, and all the obliviously rough play behavior that comes with it), it's actually been REALLY nice because he's not old enough to understand that he can demand my attention; he never got used to being the "center of attention". The new baby is just another thing in his house and when mommy is busy feeding/changing/burping her, that's just how it is. His sweet little mind is still too naive and content to know (or remember) the difference, so there really haven't been many issues on that front. In the last couple weeks, he's been more involved, and has shown interest in rocking her swing, giving her kisses, holding her hand in the car, and giving(/throwing) her pacifier to(/at) her when she's fussy. He also thinks it's **HYSTERICAL** when she cries, which I can't decide is a good or bad thing (at least it doesn't stress him out??). Lastly, we've established that they can both sleep through each other's crying, which is absolutely wonderful.

Some exciting news for Eli is that we got him his very own big-boy bed, which he loves more than pretty much all of his toys combined. We just used a twin mattress on the box-spring right on the floor so he can get on and off easily, and there are no hard surfaces to cause bumps and bruises. We haven't gotten a bed rail yet, but I actually don't think we'll need one. He has fallen off onto the carpeted floor once or twice while rolling around before falling asleep, but didn't make a peep or seem phased at all. Once he's asleep he basically zonks in one or two (albeit very strange) positions for the rest of the night. We got blessed with a GREAT sleeper (well....partially, but we also worked hard to get him into a great routine, and it totally paid off!). When it's nap time or bed time, he gets all excited to climb up there and cuddle up with his blankie. Occasionally he will still get up a few times to read his books or play with his toys (and/or bang them against the door as loudly as he can) *AKA TEST THE BOUNDARIES*. In response, we calmly and firmly lay him back down and remind him that it's time to sleep; not to play. After a couple times, he usually gets it and passes out in his bed. Hopefully, addressing these battles NOW before he's at an age of total defiance will establish a good routine (THE only routine he'll ever remember) so the battles will be much less difficult later on. Note, I'm not expecting NO battles; just strategically planning ahead of time for them! ;)

And on the topic of establishing routines, we are seeing soooo much happening with Eden, too. But let's back up because I think you should know where we started to fully appreciate how far we've come. From about 2.5 seconds after Eden came into the world, she quickly made it clear that she would NOT have the same personality as her calm, collected, content, cool-cucumber of an older brother. Even the delivery nurses were taken aback by the magnitude of this little girl's scream. Jake and I call it her "death cry" because it seriously doesn't even sound human most of the time. As early as the first few days, I noticed some VERY remarkable (good and bad) ways that Eden differed from Eli:

First, she was immediately a "barracuda nurser" (if you're curious, Google it) - while I'm very relieved that both of my children were happy to nurse immediately and appeared to be great eaters, Eli was a very normal latcher and made breastfeeding seem like a piece of cake. Eden, on the other hand, would have just about sucked my nipples clear off of my body if she could have. Combine her ravenous impatience with the normal limits of milk production while I was waiting for my supply to come in, and in about 24 hours, I didn't want anything coming within a 16 foot radius of my badly bruised ta-tas. :( I was deathly afraid that I wouldn't be successful in nursing her because it was WAY too painful and milk letdown doesn't happen as well if you're horribly uncomfortable. I prayed and prayed that my supply would stay up, and that she would somehow become a calmer nurser, and after 1-2 stressful weeks of heavy duty ointment, pumping, and checking the weight scales, our prayers were answered! I can't explain what caused the change except that God heard our cries! Since then, she is still a total snacker; she eats for a few minutes and then either passes out (like out cold, can't-wake-her-up-with-a-wet-washcloth, is-she-still-alive??, kind of passing out), or she stays awake and just won't eat anything more. While it may not seem like a big deal, getting a full feeding at every feeding is the first (and only) rule of thumb in the first weeks with the Babywise program (which we used with Eli and loved loved LOVED, despite everyone's hatred and clear misunderstanding of it), and if she simply snacks, she may sleep for 15-20 minutes, then wake up hungry again, and then be grumpy because she didn't sleep for very long (because she was too hungry)....etc etc...get the picture? While Eli would eat for a good 15-20 minutes on each side, and then sleep for hours, she is QUITE the opposite! The lack of good eating habits has lead to a lack of good sleeping habits; she catnaps but is never fully rested. Don't even get me started on her nighttime sleeping "patterns" ...or lack thereof...

Second, this kid can cry. And does. At pretty much EVERYTHING. It doesn't take much to put her into a frenzy where you think she is clearly going to either make herself pass out, or just die from the drama of it all. With Eli, we could usually tell a hunger cry from a tired cry from a pain cry. In fact, we didn't even hear his pain cry until he was about 4 weeks old when I accidentally clipped the end of his finger while cutting his nails (it was SOOOOOO painful and heart-wrenching for me to hear!!). With Eden, it doesn't matter whether she has the worst heartburn in the world or is just plain bored; all her cries sound like the world is coming to an end. This makes it very difficult to determine the best plan of action in order to address her cries because we never have any idea what is causing them. Most of the time she'll even refuse the breast and push away from our attempts to comfort/cuddle her - let me tell you...that is stressful for a mommy!

"The Mayans were wrong about their predictions in 2012; they just heard Eden's cries and *THOUGHT* it was the end of the world" - Jake

Third, we guessed that some of the crying during the day was caused by reflux and/or food sensitivities. Eli never really had anything like this. As a result, we've put her on Zantac and I've been really careful about my diet (taking out dairy, gassy/spicy foods, etc.). So far, it seems to be helping, at least during the day. However, she definitely has a "witching hour" every night consisting of inconsolable crying for 1-4 hours at a time between dinner and bedtime. This is REALLY typical of colic, which is a separate thing from the reflux. Colic has no known cause, but is probably related to some combination of gas, tummy troubles, over-stimulation, and an immature neurological system. In my next post, I'll talk more about updates with all of this, but for now, just know that we are approaching it with a lot of prayer and trial-and-error...and that more than anything, the prayer seems to be helping, so thank you!!!

Lastly, Eden is incredibly advanced with so many things! We were so worried when Eli wasn't using his arms to roll over much at 4 months. Well, this little chica has rolled over multiple times already, LOVES tummy time (which was Eli's mortal enemy), holds her head up in a very controlled manner without a problem, and has been socially smiling (real, undeniable social smiles, which I'm SUCH a skeptic about given my development background) for at least a week or two now. I have a feeling she is going to continue to surprise and amaze us in the weeks to come!

When it comes down to it, my children (woah..sounds so weird to say!) are incredibly different, but both amazing gifts from God with their own unique giftings and abilities. Eli may be easy and content, but I have to remind myself that sometimes the most "difficult" or "headstrong" children become extremely intelligent, motivated, and passionate adults, and I KNOW that my little girl is going to make her mark in the world somehow. In fact, I'd like to think she's going to do it with STYLE. Haha! In the mean time, I'm doing my best to take each day at a time, raising them to love each other, serve others selflessly, be obedient to their parents, and ultimately seek after God's heart in all things. Right now, that basically means a giant balancing act to make sure both of them feel secure and nurtured, a lot of prayer to welcome God's peaceful Spirit into our home every day, and a HECK of a lot of patience as Eden endures this colicky phase and Eli begins to enter that stage where every boundary has to be thoroughly tested..over and over and over. Thank the Lord that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13), because trust me, I couldn't handle this otherwise! Instead, I'm able to see all of this for what it really is: an amazing, adventurous, growth-producing BLESSING! Big changes are already happening since I started this draft, so stay tuned to hear about Eden's progress and how the Babywise program (and lots of prayer) is really, REALLY working for us! Be blessed!

Eden's Story

There is so much to talk about with Eden's story. Sarah has covered much of the prelude with her last blog, but so much has also happened in the past month! To say that God provides would be an understatement. We found a new home, a new hospital, a new doctor for Sarah, and a new pediatrician...all within the first week of starting my new job. And then, with the help of our wonderful family and friends, we were able to move into that home just nine days before Eden was born (talk about timely provision!). I could go on about the three weeks between starting my new job and Eden's birth, but I think that would take a whole blog post all on its own. And this blog is about how Eden arrived.

At about 1:30am on Tuesday, April 24th, Sarah woke me up to let me know that she thought she *might* be in labor. After the weeks months on pins and needles waiting for Eli to arrive, I told myself I wasn't going to get excited for every single false labor pattern this time around. Unfortunately for me, Eden had other plans, and mama knew best (thank goodness). I must admit that I was a tad bit cranky as I started to get everything prepared and loaded into the car, after all we were still more than a week away and had just finished moving. Still Sarah insisted that we should at least be ready to go in case this was it. After a crazy hour of getting the car loaded up and timing irregular and non-painful contractions, Sarah informed me that she didn't want to rush out (just in case this wasn't really it), and suggested that we go back to sleep for a bit to see if anything changes.

About two hours later, Sarah woke me again to inform me that she was pretty sure this was it. I, however, still wasn't convinced, and was particularly dreading how the rest of that day would be at work. You see, although Sarah could tell based on the feel, I questioned the lack of consistency and intensity; she actually seemed more calm and at-ease than normal. We spent the next half hour deciding what we should do...going to the hospital meant waking up Eli and my parents, and of course ensured that I would have no additional sleep before work that day (a price I wasn't easily convinced to pay). On the other hand, after Eli's speedy delivery, we wanted to make sure that we arrived at the hospital with plenty of time. In the end, Sarah's instinct beat out my hesitation, so off we went.

When we arrived at my parents' house at 5:00am, they were wide awake and eager to rush us off to the hospital, however I think they were also a little bit shocked to see Sarah leisurely walk in and go on explain the necessities for the care and feeding of Eli (almost as if we were just dropping him off while we went on a date). I think that it was safe to say that my parents shared my doubts of it being the real thing at this point, and were probably also wondering if they were up early unnecessarily for a false alarm. Once Eli was settled, we were off again.

At around 5:40am we arrived at Swedish Medical Center in Issaquah. This time around we had called ahead, and had stressed to the staff that Sarah has a history of precipitous labor, so they were expecting us at the Emergency Room. The ER staff was also a bit surprised to have a lovely little chat with a very calm mom to be. I got the impression that they thought she was just another overexcited mom with a long labor in store, but despite their doubts we were brought to the triage room much, much faster than we had been with Eli (when Sarah was actually nearing the end of transition in the ER waiting room).

After arriving at triage (close to 6am), the L&D nurse was sure to call our midwife and let her know that Sarah had been admitted before starting the routine monitoring on Sarah. Once again, she was very interested to hear about Sarah's quick delivery with Eli, but probably expected something a little less exciting this time from the calm mom-to-be sitting in front of her. I think she was pretty surprised to discover that Sarah was already 5-6cm dilated. I, on the other hand was honestly quite relieved. First, this confirmed that Sarah was actually in labor, second that we had arrived with plenty of time for Sarah to labor at the hospital, and third that I wouldn't be taking Sarah home and then leaving straight for work. I gritted my teeth and set myself to the task of proving that I could support Sarah through a long and arduous labor process (and thought maybe I should get the doula on the phone). Sarah was giddy with excitement that she was finally going to have an opportunity to use all the labor techniques she had learned, including having a relaxing soak in the giant tubs they have at Swedish. However, Sarah and I hardly had a chance to finish our thoughts after the cervical exam when suddenly Sarah informed the nurse that her water had broken, and things started to get REALLY exciting.

Initially things were a little bit scary. Immediately after Sarah's water broke, Eden's heart rate began to decelerate, and Sarah's contractions became much more intense. In the next few minutes, Sarah showed incredible strength and dedication. At this point she was clearly going through transition, but despite the discomfort and anxiety, she was working with the nurse to adjust her body position to provide as much relief to Eden as possible. Still, Sarah continued to reassure me that she was feeling fine herself, and her only concerns were for little Eden. After a few tense minutes, Eden stabilized, and Sarah was left to continue labor in a very uncomfortable position while the nurse went to do everything in her power to get the midwife there as soon as humanly possible.

As we moved to the delivery room, Sarah was once again calm and comfortable. At about 6:15am, only 15 minutes after Sarah's first cervical check, the nurse decided to check her progress again. Her checks were followed by a strange smile at Sarah and an expression that said, "You can't be serious." "What...?" Sarah asked, "Am I ten?" The disbelief on the nurse's face answered that question (affirmatively).  Now the nurse had a new preoccupation: asking Sarah if she had the urge to push and frantically try to find the midwife. Luckily for the nurse, Sarah was extremely calm - to the extent that you couldn't tell she was in labor at all. In fact, she was so calm and happy that she decided to call her mother and inform her that she was currently 10cm dilated and ready to have a baby. After a brief conversation with a very excited, flabbergasted, and confused grandmother-to-be, Sarah got back to the business of having a baby. On the next contraction, Sarah informed the nurse that she was feeling the urge to push, and in response the nurse encouraged her to try to breath and not push (mainly because she was not thrilled at the prospect of delivering the baby herself). The bad news for the nurse was that Eden was now running the show, and Sarah didn't have much of a say in whether or not she would be pushing (any moms who have been in this situation are probably having a good chuckle right now). But the good news was that Sarah's midwife arrived shortly thereafter. I should mention that between pushes, much to the surprise and awe of the nurses in the room, Sarah was having a wonderful conversation with them and laughing about the whole experience. Among these conversations was the fact that she even wore a cute bathing suit top for laboring in the tub (so much for that!), and asking the midwife if she would allow me to catch Eden. After only a couple pushes, the midwife informed me that it was now or never. On the next push I had a beautiful screaming baby in my hands. Much to the disbelief of everyone in the room (myself and Sarah included), Eden Elizabeth Bollinger was born 7lbs 7oz and 20.5in long at 6:33am on Tuesday, April 24th  (If you want to get the magnitude of this whole thing, go back and note the times) I think the nurses will be talking about this one for years to come.

God had once again provided in an unbelievable way. Despite our doubts and hesitations, we had arrived in the hospital just in time. And even though most of the staff most likely initially doubted the urgency of Sarah's labor, they took us seriously and saw us as quickly as possible. Even the midwife arrived just in time for little Eden's arrival. And we have been given this amazing gift of a beautiful, healthy daughter, who we were able to take home to a comfortable and functional house - all in perfect timing. Jehovah Jireh, God our PROVIDER! What a blessing this whole experience has been.

Beautiful baby girl

A few minutes old and eating well!

My beautiful wife and daughter

Life and Such

It has been absolutely KILLING ME to not be able to share this with so many of our friends and family for so long due to the nature of the situation, but we are finally coming out on the other side and I can let you know what's been happening in our life over the past couple months. Let me preface by saying that God is so, so, so, SO good and He has completely showed Himself to be our "Firm Foundation" this year in so many ways, like He promised He would :)

Do you remember when the Twin Towers were hit? The room you were in when you found out? What you were doing? Like it was all in slow motion so your brain could capture every significant second of it? Yeah, that happened to us at a little after 3pm on Friday, January 20th, 2012. We had some snow days earlier that week, so Jake finally went back to work for a full day before the weekend. ...Or what we thought would be a full day. He walked through the door of our house about 2 hours early with a weird look on his face. The last thing I expected to hear was that as of that day, his entire company had shut down completely. The kind of shutdown where you bring all your office stuff home in a box that same day because the building won't even belong to the company on Monday. The kind of shutdown that leaves people without severance pay, extension of benefits, or even (as we would soon find out) a final paycheck. Apparently the company had been struggling financially because of a lack of government contracts (no federal budget means no contracting action or investment from federal agencies), and while they were hoping to sell the company to a larger company, the negotiation fell through and they were left with nothing. I was sitting on the couch as he told me this, 6 months pregnant with a one year old napping in the next room, and bills that needed paying within the next couple days. Time kind of stopped for me, much like on September 11th, and we were suddenly surrounded by a thick, confusing fog. But, I kept hearing "Firm Foundation" (my 2012 "One Word") repeated over and over in my head. Jake and I immediately got on our knees and started to pray. Interestingly, instead of a prayer of desperation, it ended up being much more expectant and hopeful. Like God was already speaking to us about the amazing, almost unimaginable outcome on the other side of the fog.

But, that didn't leave us without challenge! Right away Jake started with his job search (which isn't easy or quick in this economy) and we began the process to start receiving unemployment. Almost immediately, God began to provide in absolutely AMAZING ways!! We had enough savings to get us through for a little while, not to mention that our healthcare is through the Army Reserves, so we didn't have to worry about discontinuation of healthcare benefits (thank GOD, since we were only a few months away from having a baby and I was in the throws of prenatal care for me and developmental specialists for Eli). And get this - we got all of our tax return documents early this year, and were able to file THAT WEEKEND! 2-3 weeks later we got the biggest return we've ever gotten, which just happened to be almost *exactly* the amount of one of Jake's bimonthly paychecks (like, within a hundred dollars)! While some people were complaining that they weren't going to be able to use their tax return toward something fun or fancy, we were on our knees in thankfulness and awe of God's perfect provision in helping us pay the next round of bills, our mortgage, and groceries for the next few weeks.

As the days passed, we started to receive unemployment checks, which also helped. I hear that sometimes takes weeks and weeks, but we got our first check just 1-2 weeks after applying. God wasn't just providing; He was being SO timely!! Meanwhile, Jake had applied for nearly 70 jobs in 2ish weeks, in Washington, Colorado, and Massachusetts/CT/RI. He actually started hearing responses and getting phone interviews just 2 weeks after his initial applications. Each day, we would set aside quiet time and prayer with God, and I journaled about the instances of the words "firm" and "foundation" throughout the Bible, and what each of them said about God's character and how we are called to live and trust Him. Through this challenging time, God drew us closer to Him and to each other in our marriage, and while we had moments of anxiety and frustration, we NEVER reached a point of hopelessness. Jake started to receive more promising interviews over the next month, but just as we started to think "this is it!!," we'd be thrown for a curve-ball, and things would fall through. I went back to work as a temporary preschool teacher to help with some of the financial burden, though at over 7 months pregnant (with a severely suppressed immune system), this turned out to be a much more challenging commitment than I expected! During this time it was really hard to stay focused and at peace because my body was becoming exhausted and very, very sick (not to mention Eli's, since he stayed in the daycare down the hall for free during those hours). In the end, I'm glad I did it and it was SUCH a blessing to connect with those kids and provide a much-needed respite for the other teachers who's husbands were coming home from a Navy deployment. But ever since, Eli and I have been battling virus after infection after virus after infection for the last month and a half, and I lift up a prayer every now and then thanking God for preventing me from going into premature labor with all the lifting, bending, and exertion those 2 weeks brought on my system! We would also make sure to thank God for closing doors since they obviously weren't the "right" job, as excited as we may have been about them. I'm learning to ALWAYS be thankful in EVERY situation! Haha

About a month after Jake lost his job, we were facing financial instability again, and were beginning to wonder how we would get through the next few weeks. Then suddently Jake got a call from one of his old supervisors, who had been speaking to one of their old clients up at a nearby Navy base. Apparently, the client was still interested in finishing up the contract they had started with Jake's company, and Jake was the ONLY person in the company who really knew how to do that since he had been the project lead. One thing led to another, and suddenly, Jake had a temporary position up at Keyport Naval Base making the same salary that he used to make, with a VERY flexible schedule that would allow him to go on interviews, work on weekends, etc. It was about a 90 hour job contract, but they ended up wanting to pay him for 150 hours (since that was what they had been contracted for), so suddenly he not only got to finish up his old job, but make some extra cash too! Around this time, Jake's wonderful, wonderful mom also contracted him for a software job at her company which would also provide the same pay he was used to, and even allowed him to work from home. Um, wow. WOW. We were SAFE for at least another few weeks while Jake continued to search for the perfect job.

We didn't want to be too "picky," but we also felt that this was an opportunity to settle somewhere for a while (maybe even sell our house and buy a more long-term one) and raise our family without having to move every year or two. We also saw this as an opportunity for Jake to FINALLY get into engineering (his degree is in Mechanical/Aerospace Engineering, but he's never had the chance to use it!) instead of business and project management. Unfortunately, most of the interviews he was getting were for business-related positions, which he was ok with, but they weren't really his dream, and the longer he goes without an engineering job, the harder it is to get into that field (in fact, we were starting to wonder if he was already too late, being 6 years out of college). The few engineering-related jobs that he was finding were entry-level (can we say "pay cut"??) and involved developing specifications/tooling, building to specifications, or purchasing components. None were the *design* dream job that he really wanted, but we figured he has to start somewhere to get into the field, right?? Anyway, we just kept praying that God would be very clear to us about closing doors that weren't right, and leading Jake through the ones that were (regardless of how right they seemed to us!).

As we neared the 2 month mark, the pressure started to build in other ways. I would be full-term in just a few weeks, and still didn't know where we would be living, let alone whether Jake would be employed. I SO MUCH felt the desire to nest and make our home ready for baby Eden, but we were just so limited financially and knew nothing yet (except that we probably wouldn't be staying in our current home since no jobs were really popping up in our area). As things started to narrow into focus, we were faced with an opportunity in Kent, WA, one in Kirkland, WA, and one in Windsor Locks, CT (about 40 minutes from my parents). All three brought Jake out for an in-person interview, and all three involved some form of engineering (though the one in Kirkland was really Jake's dream design job). We knew the job itself was a major factor, but so was getting an actual *OFFER* (haha), compensation package, location, and whether the one in CT would relocate us, since we were officially out of funds to move. In the end, we narrowed it down to Kirkland or Windsor Locks due to location and benefits. Suddenly both were looking like real possibilities after having nothing for so long, and we were starting to see the downsides of *too many* options! Next thing we knew, Jake had an offer from the job in Kirkland, just a few days before he was scheduled to fly out for an interview in CT! We prayed that Kirkland would allow enough time for him to at least check out the job in CT (and hopefully get a red OR green light from them) before having to respond to the first offer. God came through! Kirkland didn't push about an answer, and Jake had a successful interview in CT (and also got to have dinner with his doting in-laws while he was out there). Jake explained to the CT company that he already had an offer on the table, so he really needed to know his chances, or at least what he'd be looking at in terms of compensation. They unfortunately couldn't be hurried to answer any of his questions, which in the end, left us at total peace about going with the job in Kirkland.

PRAISE GOD!!! Jake is no longer unemployed, and we will *hopefully* be relatively settled in time for Eden's arrival. I just want to quickly talk about WHY this particular job is just so, SO perfect and totally from God (even though I would have selfishly loved to be near my family...this is just so unquestionably RIGHT).

1. Kirkland/Redmond/Bellevue is one of the nicest areas of WA...when I first moved out here, I told Jake that someday, if we ever stayed in WA, I'd want to be in that area. It's a short drive into Seattle, but still gorgeous with a small, uptown feel, AND it's within 20 min of Jake's parents' house! There are jobs galore in that area in case we ever wanted to explore other options.
2. Jake will be a mechanical design engineer, and will be working on a multidisciplinary team to design the aerodynamic exteriors of vehicles...RIGHT up his alley. Like, perfect match.
3. A job like this is usually not entry-level, but he was able to obtain it because of his previous experience as a project manager - everything was orchestrated so perfectly! Additionally, while we were expecting a significant pay cut so Jake could enter the field of his dreams, we won't have to worry about that at all!!
4. The benefits are amazing. Great vacation time, as much paid sick time as you need, tuition reimbursement, flexible hours, the best 401k contribution plan I've really ever seen with a company...and....
5. PAID PATERNITY LEAVE!!! That's right! *IF* he is able to get 30 days under his belt before Eden arrives, he gets a week of paid leave (not including my hospital stay) in addition to all his other benefits!! Eden better stay in there until at least her due date! (But even if not, he'll get the time off; just not paid)
6. It sounds like they have a very quick promotion process that could involve some significant pay increases even within the first year.
7. A hefty starting bonus in his first paycheck, which will likely be mid-April.
8. The company he is currently working with is totally understanding (as is Jake's mom's company), and they are willing to let Jake work from a distance or come in on the weekends so he can finish all that up while still being able to start his new job ASAP.


Really, we couldn't have asked God for a better deal. His provision is beyond what we need; like when He turned water to wine and the barrels were **overflowing**. That's how I'm feeling right now. ....And that's not all!! (Sorry, this blog was just way too important to try to shorten!)

So, we currently own a house in Colorado, so we're renting this house here. The lease isn't up until June, and we are WAY too far from Kirkland for Jake to commute (especially given the baby situation). So pretty much, we know we have to move - and soon. The following things need to happen:

1. Find a new tenant to take over the lease on this house so we can break our lease
2. Find a new place to live that meets all our needs and is actually affordable near Kirkland
3. Figure out where I'm going to deliver since our original hospital will probably be too far now...remember, I had like a 2 hour labor with Eli and showed up at the hospital basically ready to push. Hospitals more than 20 min away aren't an option.
4. Along with #3, interview and decide on a new midwife and new pediatrician
5. Pack our house and move in a timeline that works for the new tenant, and our new landlord. Easier said than done at almost 36 weeks preggo...

Did I mention I'm due in less than 5 weeks? If you want something to pray for, you could start with asking God to keep Eden in there until at LEAST my due date, for so many reasons! hahaha

Anyway, so far, God has already begun to answer #1 and #3, which was more complicated than expected. We live in an adorable little house right on the water, but it's age and size aren't everyone's cup of tea. ...oh, and the fact that there is no dishwasher... So far we've had like 6 showings, and no applications. I was starting to get pretty anxious about it, and then one day, God put this couple on our doorstep (her name is also Sarah), and they want it. They don't care about lack of closet space, a detached garage with no opener, and no dishwasher. They LOVE the location and the view, and really, really REALLY want it!! YAY!!! We'll all be meeting up with the landlord on Sunday, but it sounds like it might work, and the great thing is that they are willing to move in whenever we're ready for them. For #3, we interviewed a midwife at a brand new hospital in Issaquah today. I was a little concerned because I had a waterbirth with Eli (and LOVED it), but my old hospital is the only one that does that in WA, and I really don't want all the protocol-related unnecessary medical intervention that most hospitals do (we are limited to a hospital due to insurance). I was happily surprised to find out that they don't require an IV, I'm not limited to delivering on my back in a bed, AND they have huge, comfortable tubs in every birthing suite where I can at least labor. The midwife sounded perfectly willing to be more hands-off (which I loved about Eli's birth), and even allow Jake to catch the baby like he wants to. This could work out pretty well, actually! While it's not St. Joe's, it's a close runner-up, and they're so new that they don't have a huge patient load (every time we've been there it's been practically empty with easy access parking, really attentive practitioners, and beautiful, spacious, state of the art rooms). I'm also looking into a *small* possibility of a home birth, since this midwife recommended a nurse midwife in Seattle who is covered through Tricare and does home births. I'll have to call to check into it, but doing a home birth DOES require that you have a home, first....

The next step is finding a place for US to live!! But look how all of our prayers have been answered so far, and how faithful God has been already! I mean, c'mon. How can we NOT trust Him that He has #2, 4, &5 already figured out and in perfect timing? Doesn't mean we can't continue to pray, though! So, after this extremely long blog post, if you feel inclined to rest your eyes a bit from the computer screen and send a few prayers up to our amazingly faithful God on our behalf, we would SO MUCH appreciate it! First and foremost, we couldn't be more thankful, and are just so blown away by the way such a challenging situation has brought us to such a better place and truly helped us trust God more than ever before. Our prayers are EFFECTIVE and God loves to answer them! For REALS, people!

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:4-7

Bring On The Girliness!

Since my last post about the pregnancy, a lot has happened! We made it to age of viability (23ish weeks), which means that if anything serious were to happen at this point, this little girl could survive outside the womb. Both times now, this has been a HUGE relief for me (that I'm sure not too many people think about) and something that I am sooo thankful for. I am now about 25 weeks along, but here was the tummy at 24 weeks:



It is definitely going a LOT faster this time around! Sometimes I even forget that I'm pregnant (because I have so many other things to pay attention to) ...until I get a giant jab in the ribs. As an update to some of the health concerns I previously talked about, God has totally answered every single prayer of ours so faithfully! After having some pain on the left side (which was causing some pretty consistent, painful contractions), I decided to go into the hospital at around 21.5 weeks. They did an ultrasound, some blood work and a bunch of fetal monitoring, and determined that:

1. I am completely free of infection
2. The baby is VERY healthy, with a great heart rate and measuring in at about 1-2 weeks ahead of schedule!
3. The contractions are not causing any cervical dilation (which is good)
4. My placenta is moving UP to where it's supposed to be, and is not even "low-lying" anymore!

Almost instantaneously after the ultrasound, I stopped having the pains and the contractions stopped almost completely. Now I get an occasional painless braxton hick contraction during the day (which is completely normal), but everything is back to normal! AND my midwife agreed to take me off of pelvic rest! Which means I can work out again, do yoga, stress less about lifting Eli around, and...regain intimacy with my husband (ehem!). YAY!! To top it all off, for the first time in my pregnancy, I am basically free of symptoms and have a TON of energy (I LOVE LOVE LOVE the second trimester!), so I actually WANT to work out and -of course- NEST!

Before I go into the sum of my extreme nesting instincts combined with my neurotic creative excitement about having a girl, we want to officially share some very special news! We have chosen a name, and are officially making it public! Her name will be...

Eden Elizabeth Bollinger! <3 <3 <3

"Eden" is actually Hebrew for "delight" and "paradise," and to be very honest, God made this name very VERY clear to us before we even got pregnant with Eli! Basically it comes from the concept that Eden was God's original design for His creation (which was absolutely beautiful and holy), but also, it's the imagery that represents true RESTORATION of all of creation! It's not only the beginning; but the end goal, if you will. A beautiful, holy, perfect, and complete reconciliation with God that I eagerly look forward to some day! Here is a verse which really relates to that idea of a garden (and comes from one of my favorite passages in the Bible):

The LORD will guide you always;
He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail. -Isaiah 58:11

Elizabeth is my middle name (as well as my mom's), and it means "My God is a vow." Jake and I especially love the idea of informally shortening it to "Beth" and being able to call her Eden Beth (like some people call me Sarah Beth). And, because so many people ask, we did NOT purposely try to stick to the "E" theme (in fact, Eli's full name is Robert Eli Bollinger); we just happen to like E names, I guess!

SO, along with the idea of the garden, I'm already going NUTS planning her nursery! I've compiled a bunch of color/theme pictures and made a collage to start brainstorming. I'm not a huge fan of pink, but I definitely wanted it to be delicate and kind of unique. So, I decided to go with a pale baby blue/teal as the main color, and add in accents of pale pink, cherry red, and even black for a modern contrast. I love a subtle mod garden/cherry blossom theme. I am totally having WAY too much fun with this, but I guess that's what happens when you have to ignore all the girly stuff for so long, and then get to finally indulge. Let me know what you think!! :)

My Word for 2012

A few years ago, some lovely ladies and I started an annual tradition that I love love LOVE! A lot of people make New Years resolutions for the coming year, but in 2010, a new concept was started called "My One Word". This is a chance for people to think about ONE word that really encompasses their goals/hopes/dreams/focus for the coming year. My girlfriends and I took it a step further and decided that instead of focusing on a word about US, we would choose a word that describes one of the aspects of God; a characteristic that we can focus on during the year to really dive deep into who God is and what His purposes are for us. Here is a link to the original post describing all this in more detail by my amazingly lovely and passionate sister, Miss Jennifer Beamer!

Well, every year since then we've been repeating the tradition and really praying about how God might want to reveal Himself to us in the coming year. Throughout the year, we can study that characteristic of God in more detail through scripture, and also begin to recognize how He is showing Himself in that way via little reminders in daily life. It has been an absolutely amazing process for me to begin to discover the identity of God and His passions, and is definitely a tradition worth holding on to!

THIS year, after praying about it for some time, God is showing me that He wants to be my "FIRM FOUNDATION" in 2012. I thought this was rather interesting, because it's not a typical name that you hear throughout the Bible, like "Price of Peace" or "Healer" or "Provider," but it's definitely the aspect that God wants to show me. I'm kind of excited because it can mean so many different things depending on the circumstance, and yet in EVERY circumstance it seems applicable because God is the source and the foundation of every good thing! In fact, soon after choosing this characteristic, I've had this verse going over and over in my head (I chose KJV because I like it the most, but all the versions have a slightly different way of describing the same thing):

For of Him, and through Him, and to Him, are ALL things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen. -Romans 11:36

I'm SO excited about what God's going to do and how He is going to choose to reveal Himself in small AND big ways this year! Does anyone else want to partner with me in praying about/choosing a characteristic? Here is a list to get you thinking, but it doesn't have to come from that; God is WAY bigger than that list! I'd love to know which words you choose and the little ways that God is using them to teach you more during the year! Many blessings to you this year!!