Round THREE!

Since our last post, we celebrated Eden's first birthday and officially watched her move from baby to toddler-hood before our eyes. In fact, I'm not even sure when it happened because she is SO stinkin' fast at everything she does.

One day, very soon after her first birthday, we realized that she could not just walk, but run and balance on one foot. She wasn't just babbling and saying "mama" and "dada," but now carrying on 2-word conversations with people using her 20+ word repertoire, and trying to repeat pretty much everything we ask her to. She can even respond with "baa-baa" when asked what the sheep says, and point to the dog on the page (or in real life). Dogs are her favorite. Then again, pretty every animal is a "DAG!!!" right now, so maybe she just likes animals. She has also developed quite the sense of fashion and loves to accessorize with any and everything she can find around the house. This includes hats, bows, stethoscopes, jewelry, blankies, headphones, random wires, and anything else she can somehow affix to her neck, head, or wrists.

Eli is making progress with his speech, and is finally starting to initiate 2-3 word sentences to describe what he wants. He also loves to tell Grandma/Grandpa/Meme/Papa, "I wuv you!" and can often be found wandering through the house (in search of Eden, blankie, Toby, a toy, etc.), while calling, "______, where ARE you??" We started the evaluation process with the Lake Washington School District to see if he will qualify for speech/sensory services through the school starting in the fall when he turns 3. If not, we'll be looking into some form of preschool/Montessori/co-op that he can participate in for the next year or two until he ages into the public school system. Man, where I grew up (in Holland, MA), preschool was a free component of the public school system for ages 3-5! I've never had to think about dealing with all this! We are praying that God opens just the right door for Eli's needs and strengths, in just the right timing! We are also starting to notice that Eli may not just like drums/music, but may actually have some intrinsic rhythm and interest in learning how to play the drums. This is so exciting because it's the first time we've seen Eli become interested in AND show skill in something completely independent of what we've exposed him to. He even likes to set up multiple canisters/bins/plates/etc. around him and drum out a somewhat complex beat along to a song (sometimes he even sings one when there is no other music around). He's also obsessed with watching the band play at church, and I think he's really picking up on things. Maybe we'll have to look into lessons in the next year or two!

Both kiddos are doing so well, and I love how they are growing to love each other, learning to listen to and obey mommy and daddy (*learning*), responding to simple memory Bible verses that we have up on the walls (i.e. Ephesians 4:32 - be KIND), and ultimately learning to treasure the Lord with all their heart. I feel so blessed to be chosen to help cultivate this in their lives, and to see it happening more and more every day.

Aside from that, there are a few other big things happening for our family. We have been leading a Bible study at our home on Thursday nights using Beth Moore's video series on Revelation. I've done the study once before, and am so excited to be leading it with a group of women from CCOJ. It's all about asking God to give us revelation about Himself and His desires for us, and also (of course) about the intense prophecies about the End Times. As the events in the world around us become more and more climactic and heartbreaking, I am so encouraged by God's promises in this final book of Scripture. I also love how it ties together all the rest of history and the Bible from Genesis onward. We've been attending Community Church of Joy with Jake's parents, and find that God has been opening a lot of doors for us there (aside from sharing this Bible study). The children's ministry has gone from non-existent to sometimes so full we have to split classrooms! Jake and I have felt led to also start a ministry putting together/sending care packages to our military service members.  There was such a turnout of donations and support that we had enough leftover goods to almost fill a second round of boxes for each of the 6 service members we are supporting (overseas and domestically)! YAY for such a patriotic, supportive community and church we have!

We have also been participating in a community group through Mars Hill Church, which meets right down the road from our house in order to connect with other people our age. There is a guy in a group who happened to go to high school with Jake (!), another military couple with three young boys, and 2 other young couples (one with a toddler, and one with 2 young children) who are BOTH expecting a baby in the next few months! Including Eli, Eden, and the womb-babies, that makes 10 kiddos in this group!!......

....But wait!

......Why not REALLY make it a party? Let's make that 11!

That's right! We're expecting baby number 3 this November! 11-12-13, to be exact!!

On Eden's first birthday, we decided to give her a very special gift, which Grandma helped her open. It was a nice-quality baby doll (her very first one) with a note inside and a picture of the first ultrasound.











It was a very fun and unexpected way to announce what will probably be our last pregnancy. I can't believe my baby girl is going to be a big sister! We are so excited, and absolutely planned for this (in fact, I'd say we're pretty talented about the whole getting-pregnant-on-our-first-try-every-single-time, thing!). All the kiddos will be 18 months apart, which I'm sure is not for everyone - many, many people have told us we are absolutely insane for doing it so close together. Before my belly started showing, people would "coo" and "aww" at our cute little family in the grocery store. Now they stare at us like we're the Duggars, are purposely trying to overcrowd the earth, or are simply unintelligent and obviously unaware of a thing called birth control. For clarity's sake (and to prove that we're not *completely* insane or imprudent), here are our reasons for the timing and number:

1. I'm already on a "baby" schedule of naps, diapers, and generally being stuck at home, anyway. I'd rather change more diapers per day for a short while and then be done with it, than be changing diapers for years and years and years, especially after tasting freedom with an older, more independent child!

2. This "git 'er dun" mentality is also favorable when I consider that I'd like to eventually go back to school/work once the baby stages are done.

3. The kids are going to be close in age! Hopefully that will encourage (as it has already) similar schedules, similar feeding needs, overlapping naps (at least for a while), an easier time choosing family activities, and ultimately, close friendships between them! That's our prayer!

4. One (compound) word. Empty-nesters. Our last kiddo will be out of the house when we are in our mid to late forties. When we still have energy (and hopefully some money and resources) to ENJOY our later years together!! Having all our kiddos before 30 definitely took some sacrifices on the earlier end of life (let's just say our 20's weren't chock-full of parties and traveling), but we think there will be some longer-term benefits! We also pray that we can enjoy the blessing of our grandkids (who knows? Maybe even great-grandkids) for a good long while!

5. Finally, we prayed a lot about the idea of having three (as opposed to one boy and one girl - so perfect, right? Why mess with that?). But, all our reasons for stopping after two were mostly selfish. I wanted my body back, I wanted to start running again, I wanted to go back to school sooner, people generally accepted us as having the "ideal" family unit (we won't "look" perfect anymore), we won't be able to go on as elaborate or expensive of vacations, we'll have to sacrifice a little more space in our home, my chances of getting puked or pooped on are going up exponentially, etc. etc.  None of these have anything to do with the selfless joy of raising children and the amazing rewards it holds. None of them take into account the family ties and support that our kids will hopefully have long after we're gone. Children are a gift (one of the greatest gifts, actually); not a burden, and I wish our culture was better about recognizing that. Sure, there are limits as to what our family can financially afford and provide for, but those limits are not between 2 and 3 kids unless you're talking about *wants/convenience* instead of *needs.* Children don't need bi-annual trips to the Caribbean and the most expensive stroller available; they need physical, emotional, and spiritual stability, security, and safety. We can most certainly give three children that, and more!

Those are our thoughts, and again, it's not for everyone, but it was a perfect choice for us, and God totally blessed us in it and answered our prayers! We're not THAT insane, I promise! Now we're just waiting to see which gender is going to outnumber the other! Having one of each, we are honestly completely happy either way, so it's really exciting!! In the very beginning of my pregnancy, my temperatures/hormones were dropping into dangerous levels (effects of low progesterone, which I've always had), and this was followed by a very scary moment of learning that the heart rate was borderline-low and we could potentially lose the baby. We spent so much time on our knees just trusting God and praying for His protection, and He was so, so faithful. This is definitely our strong little miracle baby who survived against the odds, and we already love him/her so much! What a blessing to be starting this journey for the 3rd time! :)

16.5 weeks - Hi momma!

"2 Babies Under 2"

My days of being able to affectionately say I have 2 babies under 2 have officially ended, and it honestly makes me really sad! Eli turned 2 years old on October 30th, and I still get can't over the fact that he's not my little baby anymore! In the last few months, he has been growing like CRAZY, and our worries about his unique developmental pace have pretty much dissipated. For a kid who likes to take his time, he certainly had no problem growing his word repertoire to almost 100 words in the last 3 or 4 months alone! He's also very adept at throwing wonderfully age-appropriate temper tantrums and whimpering "ooohh noooooo" if a nap time is missed or he doesn't get his crackers (aka "crack"...aka "rocks"). His favorite things are reading books, singing (ABCs, Row Your Boat, Twinkle Twinkle or "tka tka," Jesus Loves Me, and Itsy Bitsy), eating (the variety goes from pesto/hummus/greek olives/curry chicken to ONLY crackers, depending on the day), talking to Meme on Skype, playing his musical instruments, taking care of his baby sister (i.e. stuffing her pacifier in her mouth or throwing it at her, jamming her bottle down her throat, squeezing the life out of her feet, etc. - all the things a good big brother should do), water play, building blocks, talking on the phone (which can be any available object), and giving Mama and Dada plenty of hugs and kisses. Everyone complains about how tough the "terrible twos" are, and I understand that it has it own set of challenges, but I think they are the farthest thing from terrible. Eli is so interactive, not just with us, but with his sister and his friends at school. He's been going to a "pre" pre-school two times a week for about an hour to get some nice exposure to socializing, structure, different types of play, etc. They have a combination of typically-developing kids and kids with special needs, and I love that Eli is learning compassion and patience in addition to social play skills . Also, he made a great friend next door. Our little neighbor Finley is 18 months old, but they follow each other around like the best of friends, and hold each other's hands wherever they go.

Eli really continues to be such an amazing light with his own special giftings as he grows, and it warms my heart to see how he touches all the lives around him, including mine! Little Eden is not so little anymore! She turned 6 months old on October 24th, and for a petite little thing that had so many issues with colic/reflux/breastfeeding/bottle feeding/gaining weight, she is just as chipper as you can imagine! She is also officially OUT of the sub-5th percentile for weight, and finally closer to the 25th percentile. Still doesn't sound like much, but her chunky little thighs and tummy says it all - she is one healthy little chica now that she finally decided eating isn't her mortal enemy. Beyond that, she has been rolling in both directions since about 3 months, can scoot all over the floor, sit up independently for extended amounts of time, and even babble imitatively. She is ALWAYS moving!! EGADS. I tried to tell people while she was still in the womb, but no one believed me that she moved any more than any other fetus. Yeah. I hope infantile arm/leg flailing isn't an indicator of childhood ADHD or something. On a good note, she continues to sleep 10-12 hours through the night, which started at about 10 weeks, and in combination with Eli's amazing sleeping habits, gives Jake and I a consistent "adult-time" every night after 7:30 or 8pm. It's amazing. AH. MAZE. ING. Other than that, we are now working on solid foods. She didn't care for avocado, but loves sweet potato, and I recently steamed/pureed up a bunch of carrots and spinach, so we'll see how those go in the next few weeks. She finally decided to take a bottle about a month ago, and now she even holds it herself, which is quite nice. I'm still breastfeeding throughout the day, but she takes either pumped milk or formula by bottle about 40-50% of the time. It's been nice to add "date night" back into our vocabulary again. These days are going by FAST, but I wouldn't trade them for anything, and as much as I miss each day that goes by with my "2 babies under 2," I am so excited about all the new things that each day holds, and the growing relationship between my sweet babies. "Blessed" doesn't even begin to explain life right now!

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. EVERY DAY I will praise you, and extol your name for ever and ever. -Psalm 145:1-2

Baby Girl!

A LOT has happened since our last post (sorry about that!). Eli turned one on October 30th, and we enjoyed a fun family gathering at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I tried my hand at making a pretty fondant elephant-themed cake for the family to enjoy (almond flavor with layers of swiss meringue buttercream and raspberry jam), and Grandma made Eli his very own smash cake shaped like an elephant and covered in his favorite food - blueberries! Even though he was pretty stuffed on dinner, he really enjoyed it!



As an update with Eli's development, he is making some amazing strides! He FINALLY started crawling just before 11 months, but didn't stay satisfied with that for very long! He's been totally upright and cruising around on furniture (with the occasional stationary independent stand) since around then, and we think he's definitely getting close to independent walking soon! The good news is that we had a comprehensive evaluation done by early intervention and he doesn't even qualify for services of any kind, and came out in the 95% for communication and cognitive parts, so he's definitely doing well overall! Just does things on his own time, I guess!

The weekend after Thanksgiving, my AMAZING, determined, driven, and committed husband ran the Seattle Marathon!! He did SO well, despite the freezing horizontal rain and wind, and finished it right around his goal time of 4 hours and 30 minutes! He is now determined to run at least 2 next year, and is back into training mode already! The next one will be in Yakima (eastern WA) at the end of March, and then we're hoping to go up to Canada for another one in November. Eli and I are SO SO SO SO proud of him!! Here he is about to cross the finish line:


And our biggest piece of news is that Eli will have a baby sister on/around May 3rd, 2012! Jake and I talked and prayed about it a lot, and really felt like we wanted 2 babies pretty close together in age (between 18 and 24 months apart), and on our first try, we succeeded....again! We're talented like that. HAHA!! So, Eli and his little sister will be almost exactly 18 months apart, which was the age difference between my dad and his brother, and between Jake and his sister Cassie. I'm totally ok with double diaper duty for a little while rather than 5-6 straight years of diaper duty, and we are SO excited that they will be close in age and hopefully great friends! Here is the first ultrasound picture from 9 weeks:


This little baby girl has been EXTREMELY active - I was feeling her move around 13 weeks, and could literally see her kicking from the outside of my belly at 17 weeks! She has had a perfect heart rate between 150 and 155 (which is about 10-15 beats higher than Eli's was - it seems to be true that girls tend to have higher heart rates), is a perfect size and appears to be in perfect health! Praise God! We had our 19 week ultrasound on December 9th while my mom was in town visiting, and she was the first to find out the gender! Jake and I waited to find out until the following night with the rest of Jake's family. This time, we chose to have a dozen cupcakes made at the same bakery that did Eli's gender reveal cake. My mom called them with the gender, and we asked them to pipe some pink or blue frosting into the middle of one of the cupcakes after they were cooked. That way, the whole family would eat them together, and one special person would get to make the announcement! Jake's sister Cassie was the one to officially reveal the PINK inside her cupcake, and it was SUCH a wonderful surprise because for whatever reason, I had convinced myself that this would be another boy! We actually got the reveal on tape! My favorite part is how happy and giddy Jake is! He is a VERY proud papa, and can't wait to have a little girl (he's even been excited to go shopping for girl clothes with me! It's adorable!):



Can you tell I really thought it was a boy?? Thankfully, I'm not nearly as nauseous this time around (though I have gotten sick a few times, even past the 20 week point), and even though I'm showing a little earlier this time (which I actually love...it was no fun when no one noticed I was preggo last time until almost 7 months!), I'm on about the same track for weight gain with a goal of 25 pounds, and I think I'm carrying her in about the same way. There HAVE been a few issues, however...

At my last ultrasound, they mentioned that even though the baby is very healthy, they were a little concerned that my placenta was laying so close to the cervix. This is called "low-lying placenta" and CAN develop into placenta previa, where the placenta covered the opening of the cervix and presents a risk for bleeding, premature labor, and will eventually require a c-section. Only a small percentage of low-lying placentas actually become a problem; most move up into a normal area as the uterus grows. So, at 28 weeks, they will repeat the ultrasound and see where things stand. In the meantime, I have to take it easy (which means no strenuous activity, and NO YOGA!!! :( :( :() so I've been letting Jake carry Eli whenever possible, and am getting back into knitting to force myself to sit still during the day. The other thing that's been happening since almost exactly 20 weeks is that I've been having some pretty intense discomfort pretty frequently, and I'm pretty sure that I'm having braxton hicks contractions. Those are pretty typical, even as early as 20 weeks, though most moms don't notice them or aren't bothered by them. Unfortunately, mine have been more frequent than normal (every 3 or 4 minutes for hours at a time sometimes), and can get very painful. I actually had a similar experience with Eli during the last 4-6 weeks of my pregnancy, and the midwives told me it was basically "prodromal labor" - anyone who has no idea what that is, be THANKFUL. It's worse than real labor, as far as I'm concerned, and very, very fatiguing when it happens for weeks and weeks at a time with no progress. Mine felt so much like true labor that when I finally did go into labor, I didn't even feel any different until transition. On the plus side, my actual labor was only 2.5 hours, so I guess all that uterine work paid off!

This time, I'm a little concerned because I'm still WAY too early to be having consistent contractions, and they are bothersome enough that it's hard to get stuff done during the day. They don't go away when I change position, lay down, take a bath/shower, drink tons of water, etc. That's just how my uterus is. Lucky me. If you're reading this, please join me in prayer that my placenta will return to the normal position, and that these contraction-like pains will subside. My biggest concern isn't so much my discomfort, but the wellbeing of this baby girl! I can't WAIT to hit age of viability (23ish weeks) just so I can know there is a chance of everything being ok no matter what. Best case scenario is that I make it to term, am able to have another natural, non-medicated birth, and have another short labor because of all the preparatory work my uterus has already done! But no matter what, I trust in my God and His power to heal and care for the people he loves, even the tiny, little, unborn ones! This is all in His hands, and it's actually such a relief to know that in the midst of so many things going on. She is just as active as ever, jumping around in there like a Mexican jumping bean, which has been a wonderful reassurance on an hourly basis that she is doing ok! What a blessing! :)

Half-way there at 20 weeks!

9 Months ...Of Learning

I pretty much knew that being a mommy was going to be amazing (those of you who know me at all know that I've wanted nothing more than about a gazillion babies since I was 2), but I guess what I didn't expect was the extent that my CHILD could make amazing changes in other people's lives, even before he could talk. But before getting into that, let's backtrack really quickly so I can fill you in on some of the new and exciting parts of our world since I last blogged.

Eli is a whopping 9 months old now! He is saying "mamamamamamamamamamamama," "blahblahblahblah" and occasionally "da" (haha). He also has a wonderfully complex little language consisting of many consonant-vowel combinations (with plenty of slobbery raspberries thrown in for good measure). Contrary to what his linguistic choices suggest, his face absolutely lights up every time Daddy or Toby walk in the room (his consistent "Toby" sound is kind of a guttural grunt with his mouth closed). "mamamamamama" is his default noise, though "MA!!" is reserved for frustrating circumstances only.

Eli's "Foods I have Tried" archive now includes avocado, pear, sweet potato, apple, carrot, peach, asparagus, spinach, apricot, green bean, parsnip, blueberry, cherry, corn, potato salad, orange, grape, peas, scrambled egg yolk, bread, yogurt, graham crackers, quiche, hummus, rice, chicken, turkey, toast with a little butter, a couple types of fish, pasta, soft cheese, and dungeness crab (yes, he has good taste!). Of these, his favorites at the moment are blueberries, white peaches, asparagus, bread, and hummus. I love that we can just hand him big chunks of bread, crackers, or fruit that he can take bites out of, or put a variety of small things on his tray and let him practice his pincer grasp.

In terms of his motor skills, we recently learned from a chiropractor that some of Eli's reflexes (leg/hip areas) are still a little immature, hence his tendency to straighten his legs out (makes sense considering how much he's wanted to WALK since he was about 2 weeks old). This in turn has impacted his ability to crawl because he doesn't want to bend at the hip to bring his legs up underneath him. The good news is that he has perfect strength and tone, and no indication of neurological problems, so we're going to be working on some home exercises from the chiro, and his PT in order to loosen up those joints a bit! And that brings me back to my original comments. When Eli started showing signs of motor delay, a few things started to happen:

Number one, my own insecurities started coming to the surface regarding my ability to parent effectively. It's so funny that God gave me a passion for infant/child development, and that for years I've been essentially "practicing" on how to become the best possible mommy that I can be. I've worked in day cares and nurseries since I was 9, made honors in Human Development at an Ivy League university, and went on to work with neuropsychological disorders at Harvard Medical School, children and low-income families with special needs at the CDC in Colorado Springs, and coordinated clinical research for the Dept of Rehabilitation at UC Denver School of Medicine/The Children's Hospital. I don't air out my laundry list to brag, but to emphasize how enthusiastically, whole-heartedly, ENTIRELY committed I was from day one of my pregnancy to do EVERYTHING right in order to raise a happy, healthy child. I knew everything from the benefits of breastfeeding, to the timing/method of food introduction, to the most stimulating types of toys and books, to the best ways to encourage early language development. As far as I was concerned, I was going to raise the happiest, most well-adjusted, developmentally advanced little baby there ever was...And then, thankfully, God decided to cure me of my selfish desire to control. He blessed me with Eli, who simultaneously fell short of, and magnificently surpassed my every expectation (though MUCH more of the latter!). But I still couldn't get it out of my head. Why wasn't he rolling over much? How come he still has a flat spot on his head?? I've kept him off of his back since he was 2 months old, except when he rolls from side to back while sleeping!! I've made sure he's had even more tummy time than what's recommended (literally from day one), and he still hates it, and is still nowhere near crawling at 9 months. I've kept him out of the Johnny Jumpers entirely, and yet he has more leg rigidity than most kids who spend time in them every day. WHY isn't my child succeeding when I'm doing everything right, God??? That's when I heard, "How do you measure success, beloved?" and "Why are you making this about YOU?"

Number two, I noticed that people in Eli's life (people who love him and are honestly concerned for him) began to worry about him. This includes our extended family and some close friends. They were anxious about the same things I was (though, I try to tell myself, at least, that they weren't blaming me). Now it had moved on from my own problematic self-scrutiny to some pretty intense anxiety in other family members. And so began the exhaustive "rule-out" process. Part of the problem was that there didn't seem to be anything "wrong" with Eli. If he had received a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy or Down Syndrome, for instance, I would know what I'm dealing with, and confidently proceed onward with the necessary assistance. But this was different. So, we saw a PT to rule out tone issues, we had a CT scan to rule out neurological or cranial issues, we've been set up with a number of pediatricians, developmental pediatricians, and geneticists to rule out developmental/genetic causes. As we did all this, the anxiety seemed to intensify, while at the same time, a still, small voice kept repeating, "Why don't you trust me, beloved? Why can't you see the way I've gifted him? Why can't you cast your anxieties on me and be thankful?"

I maintained a steady stream of ignorance toward that voice (after all, I was busy figuring out what was so terribly wrong with my child!!) until one day, a particularly anxious family member, who hadn't been able to sleep all night after hearing about the possibility of "craniosynostosis" from someone who knew nothing about Eli, urged me desperately to schedule his CT scan as soon as possible. It was then that I suddenly KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that my child did NOT have craniosynostosis, nor was he suffering from any other debilitating developmental disorder. God totally opened my eyes to his provisions, yet again, and also allowed me to see that this fear was an attack. From the time Eli was born, Eli has been the sweetest, most joyfully content, loving, peaceful, patient, gentle baby I've ever seen. Not to mention his tendency toward deep thought, and emotional understanding, but those have always turned into compensatory excuses for why he's not catching up physically; "Maybe he'll just be really smart, or really social, and not be as physical," "Babies only develop one major area at a time, and he's more advanced in language skills, so that's why he's behind physically," or "He's just a really deep thinker and is more interested in observing things rather than being motivated to move around and interact with them." Regardless of whether any of these are actually true, I realized that it doesn't matter one bit. God defines success differently than we do, and He gave Eli the fruits of the Spirit because Eli is made in His image (see Galations 5:22-23), and is being shaped into a man after God's own heart! Eli is here for a very important reason, and Jake and I believe deep down that it's a BIG reason...God is going to use him in a very powerful way. And all of our fears about him being slow to crawl (kinda silly in the scope of life, isn't it?), or having craniosynostosis (which I've always known that he doesn't have) is actually an enemy tactic of DETRACTING our attention from the child God created Eli to be! As I spoke to this anxious family member, I felt the words come out of me and they weren't mine.

"Eli has been chosen by God - he is gifted in ways that we're not even paying attention to because we're so scared of what could be "wrong" with him. I KNOW there is NOTHING wrong with him! God has given me a peace about this, and I think we just have to trust that God is going to take care of Eli even better than any of us could. We just need to TRUST Him and SEE Eli for the amazing, blessed, world-changing man after God's heart that we believe he is becoming! Anything else is not from God."

We still had the scheduled CT scan done (and saw a number of other specialists who have given us good tips about how to encourage more motor activity, etc.), but one thing has been consistent: NO ONE has found ANY abnormalities or disorders to speak of! Eli is perfectly healthy and happy. I've just been measuring success wrong. And already, Eli is teaching me (and the whole extended family) what true, Godly success really is. And, what trust is. And what relenting control means! I thank God for blessing me with this amazing child - EXACTLY the way he is - every day!

It's the Small Things

After about a week of rice cereal, we have moved on to real food as of yesterday! Eli's first official food was avocado (nicely mushed). I guess a lot of people start with things like sweet potato or squash (those will probably be next), but avocado is INCREDIBLY nutritious, and filled with lots of good fats that are important for baby's brain development! And it's a perfect consistency for mashing without having to worry about cooking/steaming. So, fresh avocado it was! He did really well, and was even trying to pull the spoon into his mouth...though we did end up with a bit of it on his bib/mouth/face!




Also, yesterday was the FIRST TIME we actually witnessed Eli transferring an object from one hand to the other - an important developmental milestone. I'm sure he's done it before, but we finally saw it. While this milestone would generally suggest that the baby has good enough control to *let go* of an object in order to transfer it to the other hand, Eli figured out that all he has to do it YANK on it really hard, thus tearing it out of one firmly gripped fist in order to re-locate it to the other one. Whatever. As long as it's getting there somehow...

He can also officially hold his own bottle for an entire feeding (with supervision), which really frees my hands up if I have something pressing and little time to juggle everything. We are still doing breastmilk (nursing, or pumped) about 90 percent of the time, but with all these growth spurts, we've been supplementing with formula here and there to make sure he has enough, and good iron content.

To conclude, I can't remember how or when it occurred to me, but all I know is that one day, I realized that I am utterly enamored by my child.

...To the extent that things like mushed up avocado and 1-syllable sounds are suddenly incredibly exciting
...To the extent that I get a deep feeling of accomplishment following something as simple as little fingers finding little toes (and the ensuing playtime)
...To the extent that I could watch him smile or sleep for HOURS (literally) and never get tired of it
...To the extent that I can't fathom why anyone else WOULDN'T be equally excited to observe his cute little face for all those said hours
...To the extent that my pre-baby self would probably be slightly annoyed with my goo-gooing, face-making, motherese-speaking, totally lovesick present self, were we ever to meet

Man. I'm one of THOSE moms. REALLY!?!? I've never been incredibly weepy or sappy, yet this little person has reduced me to a blubbering pile of joyful mush. Sometimes I wonder if the love that parents have for their children is the closest thing on earth to the love that our God has for us. I mean, when God created us, He saw all He had made, and said it was "very good." (Genesis 1:31) He didn't just make us and move on; He ENJOYED us!! He loves watching us grow, even when our "milestones" are relatively small and simple. He is utterly enamored by us, and for the first time in my life, I'm **beginning** to truly understand the extent of this love. It blows me away!

Approaching the 4-Month Mark

First of all, I can't even believe it's been 4 months since we first met our precious Eli! EVERYONE tells you how fast time passes when you're watching your little one grow, but you don't really understand until it's happening. I've actually caught myself saying tearful goodbyes to some of my favorite little outfits as he outgrows them! It's the weirdest experience because you're simultaneously mourning the tiny infant you fell in love with that you'll never get to hold again, but also falling deeper and deeper in love with this new, bigger, more interactive, smiling bundle of joy! Kind of like every stage is a sad goodbye and an exciting hello all at once. And it can happen in a matter of days right now! Weird! But a blessing nonetheless!

Well, we are finally through with what most people would consider "early infancy"! This is the time that the pacifier size changes, you start using new bottle nipples with a faster flow, some people start introducing rice cereal and solids, and babies are finally starting to play with toys and interact purposefully with the world around them! Right now Eli is about 15 lbs and already wearing 6-9 month clothing (but that's also because he's so long!) He is doing SO much lately - I barely have time to blog about it to keep friends and family updated! But here are some of his favorite things right now:

1. Rolling - originally he would only roll from his left side to his back, but now he's doing it with both sides, and even though he hasn't QUITE gotten the front to back thing down yet, he can do it from his tummy as long as one of his arms is moved out of the way! For whatever reason, he has been bearing weight on his legs since he was born, and even jumping and making crawling movements with his LEGS, but he refuses to use his arms! Instead he prefers to spread out his arms like a plane during the short time he tolerates tummy time!

2. Singing and talking!! This boy KNOWS music!! He sings along at church - friends and family have confirmed it! And he LOVES to dance when music is playing. I'll hold his hands to balance him while he's standing, and wave them around to the music and he will CRACK UP! I loves it when his little eyes light up when we dance around to worship music in the mornings. I'm hoping and praying that Eli will be a worshiper! We all thought because of his calm, gentle little spirit that he'd be a quiet baby...HAH! He rarely cries, but WOW does he love to talk! Especially in quiet environments like church. He coos, hums, squawks, and even says, "MA!!" over and over! Perhaps he'll be less like Jake and more like his mommy in this regard...

3. Using his hands - I guess a lot of babies are motivated by toys around this age. He could take them or leave them (he'll sometimes reach out to grab something, but is perfectly content to just observe). However, he likes to sit at the piano with me for at least 10 or 20 minutes and use both his hands on the keys to make sounds. He also finger painted his daddy a picture for daddy's birthday - his very first piece of artwork, and he was concentrated on moving his little fingers around the paper for nearly 30 minutes! My favorite thing about his hands is when he gently grabs onto my shirt/chest or fingers while I'm feeding him, or even during play. While he's not the biggest cuddle-bug in the world, he LOVES just a simple touch from his mommy or daddy.

4. Laughing!! About a month ago, he started laughing!! And I think his giggles actually surprised him at first! He would giggle and suck air into his throat making a rather loud noise which would then surprise him, make him jump a little, and then result in more laughing! The things he finds funniest are moving fabric/cloth (yeah...I know, hilarious, right?), peek-a-boo, and other people laughing. Sometimes, he'll just start laughing at nothing apparently. We were in the mall the other day and Jake was holding him facing outward while I went to get a coffee. When I came back, he was cracking up for no apparent reason, but looking straight ahead. I tell Jake that I think he still sees angels. Interestingly, he doesn't seem ticklish at all! He might be more like his daddy in that respect (who is SO ticklish that it doesn't even tickle anymore; it almost hurts!).

5. EVERYTHING in the mouth! Yeah, we're beginning to suspect some pre-teething behavior given all this drool and trouble with eating (which is also due to a recent thrush infection..ugh!). But it's rather cute to watch him gnawing away at his hands/fingers while making squealing noises during a diaper change. He also enjoys eating my bare shoulder and chewing on cold things - particularly fabric (like a cold wash cloth). So far though, we haven't seen much fussiness and he's still sleeping 9-10 hours at night so we're hoping that if it IS due to teething, he'll come through it pretty easily.

6. Standing up - with all the standing he's done since the time he was born, it's no wonder that his favorite toy right now is his stationary jumper. Being upright/able to look around combined with a way to balance and jump at the same time is HEAVEN to him! And he likes the little toys, lights, and music, too! I wonder sometimes if he'll be an early walker, or at least do less crawling and proceed right to walking since he's apparently not a fan of using his arms so much. We'll see!

Some of his least favorite things right now are tummy time, Orajel (yeah, we tried that because of the teething stuff...didn't work out so well), getting into his car seat (never really an issue until recently), and cuddling. He is ALL ABOUT looking around and taking everything in, and if you force him to face you tummy-to-tummy, he'll spend most of the time burrowing his head into your chest or head-butting your face in rebellion (though he'll rarely actually cry about it). He is bright-eyed, curious, and ready to take in the world around him! And a lot of people are finally saying that he's starting to look like me instead of an exact replica of his daddy! I'd say it's finally about 50-50 now!