What's in a Name?

Choosing a name for our children has always been an extremely important process for both Jake and I, as I'm sure it is for many people of faith. Biblically, names have always carried a TON of meaning. There are hundreds of names for God and/or Jesus, and if you pay attention, you'll see that God gives prophetic wisdom to His people as they choose names for their children. The reason is that words are powerful and carry meaning, and thus names denote an essence of character or purpose for each of God's people. He chose them before time began. They are kind of a big deal.  

"In Hebrew, a name is not merely a convenient conglomeration of letters. Rather the name reveals its essential characteristic. The Midrash (Genesis Raba 17:4) tells us that the first man, Adam, looked into the essence of every creature and named it accordingly. The donkey, for example, is characterized by carrying heavy, physical burdens. So in Hebrew, the donkey is named chamor – from the same root as chomer, which means materialism. (Contrast this with English, where the word "donkey" doesn't reveal much about the essence of a donkey!) The same idea applies to names of people. For example, Leah named her fourth son Judah (in Hebrew, Yehudah). This comes from the same root as the word "thanks." The letters can also be rearranged to spell out the holy Name of God. The significance is that Leah wanted to particularly express her "thanks to God." (Genesis 29:35)" http://www.aish.com/jl/l/b/48961326.html 

Jake and I had almost no problem at all coming up with names for Eli and Eden. It was almost like God literally whispered the names in our ears, and we were both 100% confident about both of them from the beginning of the pregnancy (or before - God showed me Eden's name before Eli was even born!). In fact, if we ever have another boy, God has already given us both a name for him as well. But when we found out that we were having a girl this time, we were at a TOTAL loss about a name! We prayed about it, and decided to give it some time, but to be honest, it was freaking me out a little bit that the others had come so easily, and this was just plain hard! We exhausted all the baby books and online resources. We read forums and Hebrew name listings, and talked to so many friends to see what names they liked. I had more than a few that I loved, but Jake didn't like any (this was a tad bit frustrating for me, especially since he couldn't really suggest many himself). I would soon realize that my super-discerning, picky husband would be a wonderful gift to me, and the reason we ended up choosing the name that God ultimate wants for our little girl, rather than just a pretty-sounding name that I happened to like.

As the months went by, I started feeling a little disconnected than I had in previous pregnancies. Not only had we always learned the gender, but by knowing the name ahead of time, we had been able to talk to them more intimately, bond with them more deeply, think about the "essence" of their character, their possible futures and giftings, etc. I was getting worn out emotionally as I considered the fact that we may just have to "settle" on a name (rather than "THE" name)...and we'd probably have a baby who sadly goes unnamed for like 3 weeks after she is born. I couldn't hear God (at least not clearly), and to be honest, I probably wasn't listening...or trusting, for that matter.

Then one day, I came across a name that I loved and had never heard before: Azriel/Azrael, which is technically a boy's name in Hebrew, but means "God is my aid/help," and is a lot like "Israel." <3 <3 It reminded me of Arielle/Ariel, which Jake's sister had loved and recommended to us after we revealed the gender (but was a bit too over-used/trendy and reminiscent of mermaids for me, even though I do love the sound and meaning of the name). I was all excited that this could be "the one," until Jake started researching it and figured out that it's also the name of the angel of death in many religions, not to mention a really creepy heavy metal band. It kind of lost its appeal after that, unfortunately. So sad :(

I went up to my room to fold laundry (and mourn a little bit), and out of nowhere, I heard as clear as a bell in my head:

ABRIELLE

My heart leaped as I called to Jake and immediately started praying for confirmation and asking God if this was really it. Not only was it beautiful, but the potential nicknames are SO adorable (Bri, Brielle, Elle, Ella, and my personal favorite - Abri). Jake, who was rather sick of the conversation at this point, said it was pretty, but after a quick look at the computer, informed that it wasn't Hebrew or Biblical (which is important to us). It happens to be a name in Italian and French which is similar to "Gabriel" or "Gabrielle," meaning "God is my strength." Still a cool meaning, but not Hebrew. Heart sinks. Again.

It was at this point that I sort of "gave up." I could have sworn I heard God's voice on this, but maybe He still had another one in mind, and I just had to be patient. For the first time, I was patient. We had others that came up on the radar, but nothing gave me that spirit-leap like Abrielle. So we waited and kept praying. You know when God has already answered a prayer and made it abundantly clear to you, but you're so blind that you just keep asking Him about it over and over? Yeah...(insert palm to forehead). Finally, I happened to see the name "Abri" online one day, and out of curiosity decided to look it up. It's a name in many languages (including Italian and Hebrew), and it's basically the feminine version of Abraham (another well-known Hebrew name), which means "father of many nations."  The feminine "Abri" could also mean "mother of many nations," but I still loved the father meaning for some reason (weird for a girl's name, right??). Then it HIT me like God had finally decided to smack me over the head with it in the clearest way possible (thank you Lord!). "El" in Hebrew means God, and denotes His might, strength, and power. We chose ELi ("the Lord is my God") and Eden ELizabeth (delight, God is my oath) with that in mind. Suddenly, I realized that ABRI EL DOES have meaning in Hebrew; it just didn't exist as a formal name yet!! And it's meaning brought me to tears: GOD is FATHER over MANY NATIONS! It's like a prophetic statement of declaration every time it is spoken. On top of that, it also means (in other languages) "God is my strength," which, after all of the issues I've had this pregnancy (low progesterone/borderline miscarriage, health problems, early contractions, early dilation, apparent growth issues, etc.), I KNOW for a fact that God gave this precious little girl the strength to survive it all! And I know He'll continue to be her strength as she lives her life, with a character that speaks to God's authority over, and love for the nations. It's amazing to think I had doubted God for even one second with this. He is SO good, and we can't wait to meet our beautiful
                                              strong, 

                                                           chosen 

                                                                          little world-changer,
                                                                                                              ~Abrielle~

in just a few more weeks. <3

The Best Kinds of Stories

This week is Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), which is a celebration of the kingship of God, and a time for repentance, reflection, and drawing near to the King of kings. It's also a time to celebrate the coming of a sweet new year and looking forward to the blessings it holds. It's a pretty freaking amazing holiday. One of my favorites for sure. I find it so incredible that God chose this specific time to teach our family that He is in control, and that He is so, SO good.

(Spoiler alert! And I promise this relates...just keep reading) We were watching "Life of Pi" the other night, and despite the wonky theological conflicts that exist throughout the movie, there was a part that really stood out to me at the end. The main character (Pi) had just finished telling an atheist writer his story of surviving weeks at sea alone on a boat with a Bengal Tiger as a teenage boy after a shipwreck in the middle of the ocean. The story involved breathtaking sea creatures, miracles, wonders, a carnivorous island, and more. The writer had come to hear his story, and had challenged Pi to make him believe in God at the end of it. After Pi told this amazing, beautiful, elaborate, and generally unbelievable story, he also explained how authorities had asked him to come up with a more realistic, believable (and much more boring and sad) explanation of the events that took place for insurance claim purposes, etc. He proceeds to explain the fantastical story in more "realistic" terms (each animal represented a member of the crew....basically they all died and then he managed to survive until his life boat hit the Mexican shore). Neither story can be proven wrong, but one sounds too amazing to be true. But does that mean it wasn't?

Since Eli was 18 months old, he has been receiving services through an amazing early childhood program in Bellevue called Kindering. They have been working with him on his speech, sensory processing, and motor planning areas, and from the time he was 2, he has been in an integrated preschool classroom of 2-3 year olds to help prepare him for the basic routine of school. Since day one, we knew that Eli had his own way and speed of developing. Certain areas were a little behind, and certain areas were noticeable strengths for him. He has continued to show amazing progress and is quite functional overall (no diagnoses, and most people probably wouldn't notice much of a problem), but we know deep down that he would benefit from continued special services as he transitions into preschool. Unfortunately, kids have to be 4 before the first day of the school year in order to start public preschool here in WA. That means Eli (born in October) would have to wait almost an entire year after most kids, and start when he's almost 5. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but with the Kindering services about to stop at age 3, Eli will have to go almost 2 years without exposure to special needs services (in the midst of classroom distractions, which the hardest for him). We can choose to pay a bunch of money for a private preschool starting at age 3 (most of which wouldn't cater to his types of needs or provide any therapy, anyway), and/or pay co-pays/deductibles for a bucket-load of clinical therapy services outside the school (which tend to be a little overboard for his borderline needs, anyway), and miss out on the classroom setting that he so desperately needs.

The only other option for us was an evaluation with our local school district to see if he qualifies for school-based IEP services. If he did successfully qualify, that would mean he could start FREE preschool 4 days a week (2.5 hours a day) right when he turns 3. It would be a seamless transition from the Kindering program to regular preschool, and he could continue to receive speech/sensory, etc. services in the classroom, but still be around typically-developing kids who serve as great role models for him. Sounds perfect, right? The only catch is that he is such a borderline kid and has so many splintered skills (and the school district has such rigid criteria) that we really weren't convinced that he would qualify for anything. And because we had to wait until he's almost 3 to do the evaluation, we are right at the start of the school year when it would be too late to start another option if he doesn't qualify (most have wait-lists for miles). Lastly, were he to qualify, the school district would provide a free bus system with at-home pickup/drop-off....and well, you might be able to imagine my excitement at this when you remember that I'll also have a newborn, an 18 month old, and it will be the start of the flu-filled, cold, rainy season in Seattle as all this starts up. All in all, this was our only ideal option to get our son's needs met, and we were praying hard for SOME type of qualifying scores (...without praying for severe developmental delays, of course!), even in just one area, but we still had our doubts and were prepared for the "less than" ideal.

After months of waiting, this morning was Eli's school district evaluation. I was as nervous as I used to be on high school exam days, and didn't even know what to pray for, honestly. I of course wanted him to qualify, but I didn't want him to live with the stigma of severe developmental delay (or be treated as such) if he really didn't have it. I wanted him to behave well for the therapists and be in a good mood for the next couple hours, but I also knew that at his best, he barely shows any signs of delay, and I wanted them to see his real needs. I wanted to be honest with the standardized parent reports, but not give the impression that he is better off than he actually is (for instance, saying that he can do something, even if he's only done it once or twice in his life). I wanted him to qualify for services, but I really wanted a classroom setting specifically (not just therapy services at the school once or twice a week). Then, I realized that I was spending entirely too much time thinking about WHAT I needed to pray for, rather than TO WHOM I was praying. Especially during this season of the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah), I was reminded that God is our Lord (which pertains to dominion and authority) and King. He knows our needs better than we do, and He is in total control. Finally, I threw up my hands and just asked God to be God in this situation. If He could create the world and humanity into existence (we celebrate the anniversary of this during Rosh Hashanah), He could help Eli qualify in at least one of these developmental areas!

The hours passed (I was pulled into a separate room to do parent interviews for most of it), and the next thing I knew, the entire team was gathered into a room to discuss the results and the next plan of action. All the therapists looked like they had just met a new baby niece or nephew. They were beaming from ear to ear and talking among themselves about how incredibly sweet and "angelic" (I'm not making this up) Eli was. They couldn't stop telling me how he was one of the happiest, gifted, most well-mannered kids they've ever had the pleasure of working with, and they had the highest hopes for him because of his amazing disposition and desire to learn and engage with them. This all made me very proud, of course....but it did make me concerned that he was not going to qualify for anything! Then, as they each went around the room to discuss their findings, I learned that although Eli was not significantly delayed in any one area (which is one method of qualifying), he had enough very mild delays in enough areas that he DOES in fact qualify for preschool!!!! On top of that, each of the therapists explained that although he showed some minor delays, his improvements and readiness to learn have been great, and they expect this to simply be a beneficial "boost" to really get him caught up and ready for school success. It was like hearing the best possible scenario while still getting the services we were looking for. We also learned that he is going to receive *all* the services areas he needs while in the classroom (even the ones he is almost typical in), so I won't have to drag him to (or pay for) separate private therapy. Lastly, he'll be attending an amazing, amazing school which just happens to be 5 minutes up the road from our house. It's the only school in our area that provides these services, so we feel so blessed to be so close. And he gets the bus service. It's everything we wanted, and more.

I almost (happy) cried in front of them all. I suppose I could have blamed it on the pregnancy hormones...

I had desperately cried out to God to just make this work somehow, and He responded by exceeding every expectation I had (even my very best expectations). He literally blew them out of the water. I love when His plans make our own imaginations and desires seem boring and deficient. I love when the barely-believable and the barely-imaginable become reality.

Remember the two stories that Pi told the writer in "Life of Pi"? The final conversation went as follows:

PI: Can I ask you something?
WRITER: Of course.
PI: I've told you two stories about what happened out on the ocean. Neither explains what caused the sinking of the ship, and no one can prove which story is true and which is not. In both stories, the ship sinks, my family dies, and I suffer.
WRITER: True.
PI: So which story do you prefer?
WRITER: The story with the tiger. That's the better story.
PI: Thank you. And so it goes with God.

Later, after Pi had left the room, the writer was going through the police reports from the incident, and it actually confirmed that there was an adult Bengal tiger on the lifeboat with Pi. I'm not sure what the movie writer meant when he wrote this statement about God, but I'll tell you what it meant to me. It seems to me that the (often barely-believable) beauty and power of God's workmanship holds more reality and truth than the dull "reality" that some people would rather believe in. In other words, God REALLY is THAT good. He really does exceed our expectations and go above and beyond our wildest dreams in a way that, without faith, would probably look like a rather unbelievable story. But it's always the best, most preferable story. Trust me.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." -Ephesians 3:20

L'Shanah Tovah!

Round THREE!

Since our last post, we celebrated Eden's first birthday and officially watched her move from baby to toddler-hood before our eyes. In fact, I'm not even sure when it happened because she is SO stinkin' fast at everything she does.

One day, very soon after her first birthday, we realized that she could not just walk, but run and balance on one foot. She wasn't just babbling and saying "mama" and "dada," but now carrying on 2-word conversations with people using her 20+ word repertoire, and trying to repeat pretty much everything we ask her to. She can even respond with "baa-baa" when asked what the sheep says, and point to the dog on the page (or in real life). Dogs are her favorite. Then again, pretty every animal is a "DAG!!!" right now, so maybe she just likes animals. She has also developed quite the sense of fashion and loves to accessorize with any and everything she can find around the house. This includes hats, bows, stethoscopes, jewelry, blankies, headphones, random wires, and anything else she can somehow affix to her neck, head, or wrists.

Eli is making progress with his speech, and is finally starting to initiate 2-3 word sentences to describe what he wants. He also loves to tell Grandma/Grandpa/Meme/Papa, "I wuv you!" and can often be found wandering through the house (in search of Eden, blankie, Toby, a toy, etc.), while calling, "______, where ARE you??" We started the evaluation process with the Lake Washington School District to see if he will qualify for speech/sensory services through the school starting in the fall when he turns 3. If not, we'll be looking into some form of preschool/Montessori/co-op that he can participate in for the next year or two until he ages into the public school system. Man, where I grew up (in Holland, MA), preschool was a free component of the public school system for ages 3-5! I've never had to think about dealing with all this! We are praying that God opens just the right door for Eli's needs and strengths, in just the right timing! We are also starting to notice that Eli may not just like drums/music, but may actually have some intrinsic rhythm and interest in learning how to play the drums. This is so exciting because it's the first time we've seen Eli become interested in AND show skill in something completely independent of what we've exposed him to. He even likes to set up multiple canisters/bins/plates/etc. around him and drum out a somewhat complex beat along to a song (sometimes he even sings one when there is no other music around). He's also obsessed with watching the band play at church, and I think he's really picking up on things. Maybe we'll have to look into lessons in the next year or two!

Both kiddos are doing so well, and I love how they are growing to love each other, learning to listen to and obey mommy and daddy (*learning*), responding to simple memory Bible verses that we have up on the walls (i.e. Ephesians 4:32 - be KIND), and ultimately learning to treasure the Lord with all their heart. I feel so blessed to be chosen to help cultivate this in their lives, and to see it happening more and more every day.

Aside from that, there are a few other big things happening for our family. We have been leading a Bible study at our home on Thursday nights using Beth Moore's video series on Revelation. I've done the study once before, and am so excited to be leading it with a group of women from CCOJ. It's all about asking God to give us revelation about Himself and His desires for us, and also (of course) about the intense prophecies about the End Times. As the events in the world around us become more and more climactic and heartbreaking, I am so encouraged by God's promises in this final book of Scripture. I also love how it ties together all the rest of history and the Bible from Genesis onward. We've been attending Community Church of Joy with Jake's parents, and find that God has been opening a lot of doors for us there (aside from sharing this Bible study). The children's ministry has gone from non-existent to sometimes so full we have to split classrooms! Jake and I have felt led to also start a ministry putting together/sending care packages to our military service members.  There was such a turnout of donations and support that we had enough leftover goods to almost fill a second round of boxes for each of the 6 service members we are supporting (overseas and domestically)! YAY for such a patriotic, supportive community and church we have!

We have also been participating in a community group through Mars Hill Church, which meets right down the road from our house in order to connect with other people our age. There is a guy in a group who happened to go to high school with Jake (!), another military couple with three young boys, and 2 other young couples (one with a toddler, and one with 2 young children) who are BOTH expecting a baby in the next few months! Including Eli, Eden, and the womb-babies, that makes 10 kiddos in this group!!......

....But wait!

......Why not REALLY make it a party? Let's make that 11!

That's right! We're expecting baby number 3 this November! 11-12-13, to be exact!!

On Eden's first birthday, we decided to give her a very special gift, which Grandma helped her open. It was a nice-quality baby doll (her very first one) with a note inside and a picture of the first ultrasound.











It was a very fun and unexpected way to announce what will probably be our last pregnancy. I can't believe my baby girl is going to be a big sister! We are so excited, and absolutely planned for this (in fact, I'd say we're pretty talented about the whole getting-pregnant-on-our-first-try-every-single-time, thing!). All the kiddos will be 18 months apart, which I'm sure is not for everyone - many, many people have told us we are absolutely insane for doing it so close together. Before my belly started showing, people would "coo" and "aww" at our cute little family in the grocery store. Now they stare at us like we're the Duggars, are purposely trying to overcrowd the earth, or are simply unintelligent and obviously unaware of a thing called birth control. For clarity's sake (and to prove that we're not *completely* insane or imprudent), here are our reasons for the timing and number:

1. I'm already on a "baby" schedule of naps, diapers, and generally being stuck at home, anyway. I'd rather change more diapers per day for a short while and then be done with it, than be changing diapers for years and years and years, especially after tasting freedom with an older, more independent child!

2. This "git 'er dun" mentality is also favorable when I consider that I'd like to eventually go back to school/work once the baby stages are done.

3. The kids are going to be close in age! Hopefully that will encourage (as it has already) similar schedules, similar feeding needs, overlapping naps (at least for a while), an easier time choosing family activities, and ultimately, close friendships between them! That's our prayer!

4. One (compound) word. Empty-nesters. Our last kiddo will be out of the house when we are in our mid to late forties. When we still have energy (and hopefully some money and resources) to ENJOY our later years together!! Having all our kiddos before 30 definitely took some sacrifices on the earlier end of life (let's just say our 20's weren't chock-full of parties and traveling), but we think there will be some longer-term benefits! We also pray that we can enjoy the blessing of our grandkids (who knows? Maybe even great-grandkids) for a good long while!

5. Finally, we prayed a lot about the idea of having three (as opposed to one boy and one girl - so perfect, right? Why mess with that?). But, all our reasons for stopping after two were mostly selfish. I wanted my body back, I wanted to start running again, I wanted to go back to school sooner, people generally accepted us as having the "ideal" family unit (we won't "look" perfect anymore), we won't be able to go on as elaborate or expensive of vacations, we'll have to sacrifice a little more space in our home, my chances of getting puked or pooped on are going up exponentially, etc. etc.  None of these have anything to do with the selfless joy of raising children and the amazing rewards it holds. None of them take into account the family ties and support that our kids will hopefully have long after we're gone. Children are a gift (one of the greatest gifts, actually); not a burden, and I wish our culture was better about recognizing that. Sure, there are limits as to what our family can financially afford and provide for, but those limits are not between 2 and 3 kids unless you're talking about *wants/convenience* instead of *needs.* Children don't need bi-annual trips to the Caribbean and the most expensive stroller available; they need physical, emotional, and spiritual stability, security, and safety. We can most certainly give three children that, and more!

Those are our thoughts, and again, it's not for everyone, but it was a perfect choice for us, and God totally blessed us in it and answered our prayers! We're not THAT insane, I promise! Now we're just waiting to see which gender is going to outnumber the other! Having one of each, we are honestly completely happy either way, so it's really exciting!! In the very beginning of my pregnancy, my temperatures/hormones were dropping into dangerous levels (effects of low progesterone, which I've always had), and this was followed by a very scary moment of learning that the heart rate was borderline-low and we could potentially lose the baby. We spent so much time on our knees just trusting God and praying for His protection, and He was so, so faithful. This is definitely our strong little miracle baby who survived against the odds, and we already love him/her so much! What a blessing to be starting this journey for the 3rd time! :)

16.5 weeks - Hi momma!

9 Months by A Nerdy Parent

I can't believe I'm posting about the fact that Eden will be 9 months old on Thursday. In the last few months we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Uncle Jared, celebrated Hanukkah with a bunch of family and friends,  celebrated Grandma B's birthday, and took a trip to MA for Christmas. The kids absolutely loved seeing their East Coast family, and it was really hard to say goodbye. The time is FLYING by, and suddenly, my little baby girl is getting close to toddler-hood!! I think there must be some exponential equation you can apply to figure out the speed (s) at which your children seem to grow as a factor of n (n = number of children you have), while also taking into account that particular child's tendencies for fast development (d)...which is also often impacted by their birth order (denoted by n).

s = x^n + n[sum(d)]

If someone could just figure out the value of x, we'd have it all figured out. I'll have to ask God about that some day. In other words, Eli grew fast....but Eden is growing lightning fast! 

She is now crawling all over the house, pulling to stand, beginning to cruise along furniture, and can even let herself back down to the floor in a controlled manner. She also recently learned how to climb stairs and I often find her standing in her crib at the end of a nap, squawking to be rescued. Speaking of "squawking," this little girl has no problem communicating her needs. It only took about 10 minutes to get her to consistently sign "more" with cheerios as the motivation. She happily sings "da-da-da-da-da" all day, until she is tired or hungry or stinky or just generally furious at life. Then, she quickly changes tune to a very despairing "na-na-na-na-na," which we've pretty much been able to translate into: "MA, get with the program, lady. I am clearly very upset and expect you to fix this situation, CHOP-CHOP!" Yes, I have another child who's favorite person in the world (aside from her brother) is her daddy. Mommy is just for fixing problems and comfort during distress. Especially since she stopped breastfeeding between 7 and 8 months (sad, but her uber-independent desire to feed herself helped us completely expect this), so mommy isn't even the primary source of food anymore. One of her favorite things to do right now is stand behind daddy and repeatedly pat his head right on his bald spot. Although I should say, as much as she adoringly smiles at him (which is pretty much every second he's around), this little social butterfly tends to dish smiles out with wanton disregard, much like her brother. It doesn't take much for a passer-by to fall completely in love with her. She's definitely as sweet and joyful as she is strong-willed and emotional, and for that I am so thankful. 

Eden now has 2 teeth (bottom front), but with the way she craves big-people food (she won't even touch baby food anymore...which is unfortunate considering my freezer is packed to the brim with it), you'd guess she had more. Like many babies (with the exception of Eli) she is obsessed with having things in her mouth. So much so, that it's become a mindless habit like how adults chew gum or bite their lips. About 85% of her play time involves active use of both her hands (and often feet), a very analytical facial expression, and a toy sticking half-way out of her mouth. Case in point:

Some other more recent mad skillz: 

-Waving hello/bye-bye

-*Continuing* to sleep through the night since 10 weeks old. We've had a handful of sleep interruptions because she was sick or teething, but she's been able to stick with her 10-12 hour/night norm! YAY!
-Giving "kisses" (clicking her tongue between her lips and face-planting on your mouth)

-Switching toys between hands and using her pointer finger on book pages and toys with buttons

-Holding a spoon almost perfectly, and getting it into her mouth. I think I actually caught her making lip-smacking noises while pretending to feed herself...I must have been imagining it.

-Emergence of object permanence

-A banshee wail so sudden and intense that we can get an entire restaurant (or airplane) to turn heads and seriously wonder if we are physically torturing our child. And an equally sudden composure when the desired toy or food item has been successfully obtained

-Putting her pacifier in and out of her mouth

-Shiny bling to include jewelry, mirrors, embellished hair clips, and all other girly accessories

-Eating paper

Some of her favorite things:

-Seeing Meme, Papa, JJ, and Auntie Kate on Skype (whilst banging the keyboard in such a way that she *always* does THIS ...never fail)

-Eating regular food, then throwing it up if it has a weird or slimy texture. And then trying again immediately.

-Toby the dog

-Her hand-knit blankie from Auntie Kate

-Tummy tickles

-Playing with, taking tubby baths with, or generally being in the near vicinity of Eli

-Eating paper

Some of her least favorite things:

-Taking medicine

-Sippy cups or other things that involve novel nipple/spouts - we need to work on this!

-Sitting still

-Being denied mommy's cell phone

In other news, Eli (who turned 2 on October 30th) has been really enjoying "preschool" at Kindering in Bellevue. He attends a class called "Stepping Stones," which helps prep kids between 2 and 3 for preschool. It's an integrated classroom with 50% of the kids receiving some sort of developmental services. Eli gets speech therapy and some help with his foot pronation while in class. It's an AMAZING program, and has received a ton of awards for being one of the best preschool/early learning opportunities in the state. Even children who don't receive services get way more hands-on interaction from professionals who really know how to boost developmental skills. Normally it's pretty expensive, but because Eli qualified for therapy (though he's doing so well now that I'm not sure he'd still qualify), it's free for us! Eden and I get to go twice a week to watch him on the other side of a one-way-mirror (or we can drop him off and go get errands done). It's been a wonderful experience, and Eli absolutely loves going to school! His favorite time of the day is snack time! What a surprise.

Eli is also becoming such a sweet, patient big brother, and quite the little entertainer. He enjoys singing (ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle, Row Your Boat, Jesus Loves Me, Open Shut Them, Patty-Cake, Old MacDonald, and the list goes on!), playing drums, xylophone, recorder (which also serves as a drum stick and a microphone), tambourine, and shakers, AND he LOVES to dance! Mr. Potato Head is one of his new favorite toys, and he still adores trucks and books. I often find him contently reading books on the floor of his room after he is done his nap, and he also likes reading to his baby sister and to Meme on Skype. Lately, he's been very interested in using the potty (or at least sitting on it) and dressing himself. That includes picking out clothes from his dresser all by himself and buttoning/zippering them up (with some help). Here is the latest result:

(PJ pants and shirt, button-up collared sweater, zip-up monkey sweatshirt jacket, and sun visor. 

He was quite proud.)

I have to say that one of my favorite parts of the last 9 months is how Eli and Eden interact and love on each other. It's such an answered prayer for us to see the natural compassion they have for one another, and the kind of joy and wordless understanding that only their sibling can provide. We thank God for blessing us with such beautiful, healthy, and uniquely-gifted children, and continue to pray that they will treasure Christ above all else, and be the best of friends as they grow up together. While having 2 has its own set of challenges, the blessings have really given us perspective on what's important in life, and how much of a gift having children (plural) truly is. So much so that we are praying about what might be next and the possibility of more if that's something God wants to give us. For now, we are just trying our best to appreciate every single second with these kiddos, because x^2 + 2[sum(d)] is entirely too fast!!

Happy Hanukkah!

So, even though God didn't explicitly ordain this particular holiday in the Bible (like Passover, for instance), Jesus Himself made it clear that it was worth celebrating! Instead of going into all the details about what it is and why our family celebrates it, I thought it would be helpful to link to my wonderful friend Jenn's blog, because she does such a brilliant job of explaining it all!

So here you have it!

http://www.girlseekstruth.com/2008/12/happy-h-word.html

and an update with some additional, AWESOME, God-totally-loves-and-uses-WOMEN-in-powerful-ways information:

http://www.girlseekstruth.com/2010/12/apparently-its-not-just-about-maccabees.html

I did want to also add something about the dreidel game (not a law, but a custom associated with Hanukkah)! Some rabbis maintain that back when the Jews were being persecuted by the Greeks, and the study of the Torah had been outlawed, children (and adults) would gather to secretly study God's Word, even in the streets where there was a risk of a Greek official walking by. When one of them did, they would quickly pretend to be playing dreidels as a cover. Additionally, the Hebrew letters on the 4 sides of the dreidel (and the words they represent) are another teaching device. The four letters are Nun, Gimel, Hey, and Shin, which spell out the acronym Nes Gadol Haya Sham ("A Miracle Happened There" - the miracle, of course, being the miracle of Hanukkah). Any number of people can play dreidel, and it's a great game for young children!

To play,
1. Each player begins the game with an equal number of game pieces (about 10-15) such as pennies, nuts, chocolate chips, raisins, matchsticks, etc. "Gelt" (chocolate coins) work well too!
3. At the beginning of each round, every participant puts one game piece into the center "pot." In addition, every time the pot is empty or has only one game piece left, every player should put one in the pot.
4. Every time it's your turn, spin the dreidel once. Depending on the outcome, you give or get game pieces from the pot:
   a) Nun means "nisht" or "nothing" (Yiddish). The player does nothing.
   b) Gimmel  means "gantz" or "everything" (Yiddish).  The player gets everything in the pot.
   c) Hey means "halb" or "half" (Yiddish). The player gets half of the pot. (If there is an odd number of pieces in the pot, the player takes half of the total plus one).
   d) Shin means "shtel" or "put in" (Yiddish). The player adds a game piece to the pot.
5. If you find that you have no game pieces left, you are either "out" or may ask a fellow player for a "loan."
6. When one person has won everything, that round of the game is over!

Start lighting your menorahs tomorrow night, everyone! Check out this totally blinged-out one I found! :)

"Chânak." Mind Officially Blown.

I love it when God takes something with which I'm already familiar, and decides to blow my freakin' mind with it. LOVE IT! So much so, that I am currently sitting in bed next to my snoring husband at close to midnight because I couldn't fall asleep without writing about it. I've been reading "Grace Based Parenting" by Dr. Tim Kimmel, and although there are a couple tiny parts of it that didn't resonate well with me, overall I think it's an amazing book. Growing up in a REALLY strict grace-less environment, I never learned how to truly trust God and live as a Christian in a secular world (without living in some degree of fear). Fortunately, God was gracious enough to teach me these things as a young adult, and this book is helping me recognize how I can teach my children these same concepts early on and hopefully spare them some of the brokenness I had to work through in order to get where I am. As I was reading tonight, I came across Proverbs 22:6:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

You don't know how many times I've heard this verse. Probably starting from childhood when my mom would use it to explain why I had to go to church or not use curse words. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with either of those things, but what I love about this book is that it explains how to *teach* your children how to love and long for the character of God, rather than follow some set of principles for the sake of looking obedient. Interestingly, I guess I never really understood the meaning behind this verse! As many Christians (like my mom) understand it, it's about raising a child to be a "good Christian" so they will never depart from that lifestyle. WOW...does God have something in store for us, fellow parents! And I'll give you a hint: it involves His *GRACE* to us as parents!

So, let me start with what initially blew my mind. The phrase "in the way he should go" does not mean "in the righteous/religious way," but rather, in the path that is in harmony with that particular child's disposition, talents, and character. The author puts it like this:

"Some translations say 'train him up in his way,' which is actually a more literal rendering of the Hebrew word dereck. One of the most accurate English synonyms for dereck would be the word bents. This is how this same word is translated in Psalm 11 referring to the bend of a bow. If you were making a bow out of a tree limb, you'd first study the limb to figure out what its natural 'bent' is. Then you'd string it. If you didn't do this, when you pulled the bow back, it would snap because it was strung against its natural bent rather than with it. In the same way, we are to groom our children according to their natural bents. This means coming alongside them with a plan to help leverage their natural and unique gifts and skills into highly developed assets that they can lean on in the future." (p. 111-112)

In the back of my head since Eli was born, I kept holding myself to some imaginary standard that I had to raise Him (and now Eden) to be the perfect "Christian." I know it sounds ridiculous and maybe even a little prideful, but I wanted them to pray well, speak well, worship well, play music well, and have a heart for the homeless, share the gospel with courage...and on and on and on (though those are all wonderful things, and many do happen naturally as you follow Christ). That is a heck of a LOT of weight on my shoulders, and as I've come to learn, it's not a burden that God has placed on me, but rather one I've given myself! The "way my children should go" is not some ideal singular *WAY* that only Christ Himself could accomplish. God has given me the grace to understand that my prime role as a parent is raising my children to first and foremost LOVE, SEEK, and TRUST God, but also come to an understanding of how God made them unique for His purpose.

The pressure came off of me tonight and I suddenly felt better able to breathe about this whole parenting thing! Because you know what? Exploring the unique personalities and giftings of my children in order to help them live for God the very best way they can is truly one of my greatest joys. It doesn't feel like a burden at all, but rather an amazing gift from God that I don't deserve. As I'm learning, Eli is not the most verbal child, but he LOVES to sing and dance with me when we listen to worship music (or any music, for that matter)! It's like all his little boundaries and limitations fall off and he just revels in it! He is also so, so, SOOOO sweet and content. Almost nothing upsets him or scares him - even during my pregnancy we prayed for the spiritual fruits for him - particularly peace, gentleness and self-control. After just 2 years, I can see the ways God made him so unique, and I can't wait to help him explore and develop these characteristics for God's glory! Eden is completely unique in different ways. She is my little warrior princess - I can already tell! God has given her a fire in her spirit and she is going to do amazing things on the spiritual battleground in her lifetime. She learns quickly, communicates well, and holds her ground...just like her spit-fire (ok...stubborn) momma. And those are qualities God can use in powerful ways! This parenting thing is seriously the best "job" in the world!

God blew my mind another way tonight, too. The first phrase in that verse is "train up," which, low and behold, is the Hebrew word "chânak." So I'm sitting here with my handy-dandy Key Word Study Bible (KJV), and I decide to look up this term in the Strong's Concordance at the back of the book. It's #2596, if you are interested. It means to initiate, discipline, dedicate, or train up. Under the description, it says that one use "is related to the dedication of a house or temple"...hmmmm...why does this sound familiar??

Then I look. The word is the primitive root for the next word (2597/2598): chânukkâh, which literally means "dedication." Guess what TOMORROW is, people?? Yeah, God chose to reveal this to me the day before the Festival of Dedication. Seriously. Mind. Blown.

I'm some combination of too giddy and too exhausted to really fully understand the full relationship between the dedication we as parents are called to have regarding raising our children to glorify God with their lives (Proverbs 22:6), and the miraculously provision and rededication of the Temple after Judah Maccabee and the Jewish army's victory over the Seleucids. Interestingly this Hebrew term "chânak" is also used in Hebrew literature to describe a method midwives used to stimulate the sucking reflex in newborns (covering their finger with the juice of crushed grapes or dates and massaging the baby's palate). This was used to both stimulate sucking and cleanse the baby's mouth of amniotic fluids. Additionally, the dedication ("chânukkâh") of the Temple began with a purification, or cleansing, since the Greeks had desecrated the holiest areas. As I pray about what all this means, God is starting to reveal to me that part of training up my children is the concept of asking God to purify them from ungodly influences. It may sound weird (or maybe extreme?), but there is so much hate, doubt, idolatry (money, power - you name it), fear, indifference, etc. in the world around us. These things are not of God, and they make their way into our children's minds and hearts, often unbeknownst to us. There is a battle going on out there, whether you believe it or not, and perhaps one of the first steps toward "training up" our children in the way they should go is to be deliberately and prayerfully protective about keeping them "clean" in the same way newborns' airways have to be clean, and the same way God required the Temple to be clean. I have to pray and think a LOT more about this all...I'm just beginning to get revelation on it. But WOW, I am going to have a whole new appreciation for Hanukkah, which starts tomorrow! If you have any added insight to share about this, please leave a comment! :)

Ok, maybe I should try to get some shut-eye now... Hanukkah Sameakh!

"2 Babies Under 2"

My days of being able to affectionately say I have 2 babies under 2 have officially ended, and it honestly makes me really sad! Eli turned 2 years old on October 30th, and I still get can't over the fact that he's not my little baby anymore! In the last few months, he has been growing like CRAZY, and our worries about his unique developmental pace have pretty much dissipated. For a kid who likes to take his time, he certainly had no problem growing his word repertoire to almost 100 words in the last 3 or 4 months alone! He's also very adept at throwing wonderfully age-appropriate temper tantrums and whimpering "ooohh noooooo" if a nap time is missed or he doesn't get his crackers (aka "crack"...aka "rocks"). His favorite things are reading books, singing (ABCs, Row Your Boat, Twinkle Twinkle or "tka tka," Jesus Loves Me, and Itsy Bitsy), eating (the variety goes from pesto/hummus/greek olives/curry chicken to ONLY crackers, depending on the day), talking to Meme on Skype, playing his musical instruments, taking care of his baby sister (i.e. stuffing her pacifier in her mouth or throwing it at her, jamming her bottle down her throat, squeezing the life out of her feet, etc. - all the things a good big brother should do), water play, building blocks, talking on the phone (which can be any available object), and giving Mama and Dada plenty of hugs and kisses. Everyone complains about how tough the "terrible twos" are, and I understand that it has it own set of challenges, but I think they are the farthest thing from terrible. Eli is so interactive, not just with us, but with his sister and his friends at school. He's been going to a "pre" pre-school two times a week for about an hour to get some nice exposure to socializing, structure, different types of play, etc. They have a combination of typically-developing kids and kids with special needs, and I love that Eli is learning compassion and patience in addition to social play skills . Also, he made a great friend next door. Our little neighbor Finley is 18 months old, but they follow each other around like the best of friends, and hold each other's hands wherever they go.

Eli really continues to be such an amazing light with his own special giftings as he grows, and it warms my heart to see how he touches all the lives around him, including mine! Little Eden is not so little anymore! She turned 6 months old on October 24th, and for a petite little thing that had so many issues with colic/reflux/breastfeeding/bottle feeding/gaining weight, she is just as chipper as you can imagine! She is also officially OUT of the sub-5th percentile for weight, and finally closer to the 25th percentile. Still doesn't sound like much, but her chunky little thighs and tummy says it all - she is one healthy little chica now that she finally decided eating isn't her mortal enemy. Beyond that, she has been rolling in both directions since about 3 months, can scoot all over the floor, sit up independently for extended amounts of time, and even babble imitatively. She is ALWAYS moving!! EGADS. I tried to tell people while she was still in the womb, but no one believed me that she moved any more than any other fetus. Yeah. I hope infantile arm/leg flailing isn't an indicator of childhood ADHD or something. On a good note, she continues to sleep 10-12 hours through the night, which started at about 10 weeks, and in combination with Eli's amazing sleeping habits, gives Jake and I a consistent "adult-time" every night after 7:30 or 8pm. It's amazing. AH. MAZE. ING. Other than that, we are now working on solid foods. She didn't care for avocado, but loves sweet potato, and I recently steamed/pureed up a bunch of carrots and spinach, so we'll see how those go in the next few weeks. She finally decided to take a bottle about a month ago, and now she even holds it herself, which is quite nice. I'm still breastfeeding throughout the day, but she takes either pumped milk or formula by bottle about 40-50% of the time. It's been nice to add "date night" back into our vocabulary again. These days are going by FAST, but I wouldn't trade them for anything, and as much as I miss each day that goes by with my "2 babies under 2," I am so excited about all the new things that each day holds, and the growing relationship between my sweet babies. "Blessed" doesn't even begin to explain life right now!

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. EVERY DAY I will praise you, and extol your name for ever and ever. -Psalm 145:1-2