(Spoiler alert! And I promise this relates...just keep reading) We were watching "Life of Pi" the other night, and despite the wonky theological conflicts that exist throughout the movie, there was a part that really stood out to me at the end. The main character (Pi) had just finished telling an atheist writer his story of surviving weeks at sea alone on a boat with a Bengal Tiger as a teenage boy after a shipwreck in the middle of the ocean. The story involved breathtaking sea creatures, miracles, wonders, a carnivorous island, and more. The writer had come to hear his story, and had challenged Pi to make him believe in God at the end of it. After Pi told this amazing, beautiful, elaborate, and generally unbelievable story, he also explained how authorities had asked him to come up with a more realistic, believable (and much more boring and sad) explanation of the events that took place for insurance claim purposes, etc. He proceeds to explain the fantastical story in more "realistic" terms (each animal represented a member of the crew....basically they all died and then he managed to survive until his life boat hit the Mexican shore). Neither story can be proven wrong, but one sounds too amazing to be true. But does that mean it wasn't?
Since Eli was 18 months old, he has been receiving services through an amazing early childhood program in Bellevue called Kindering. They have been working with him on his speech, sensory processing, and motor planning areas, and from the time he was 2, he has been in an integrated preschool classroom of 2-3 year olds to help prepare him for the basic routine of school. Since day one, we knew that Eli had his own way and speed of developing. Certain areas were a little behind, and certain areas were noticeable strengths for him. He has continued to show amazing progress and is quite functional overall (no diagnoses, and most people probably wouldn't notice much of a problem), but we know deep down that he would benefit from continued special services as he transitions into preschool. Unfortunately, kids have to be 4 before the first day of the school year in order to start public preschool here in WA. That means Eli (born in October) would have to wait almost an entire year after most kids, and start when he's almost 5. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but with the Kindering services about to stop at age 3, Eli will have to go almost 2 years without exposure to special needs services (in the midst of classroom distractions, which the hardest for him). We can choose to pay a bunch of money for a private preschool starting at age 3 (most of which wouldn't cater to his types of needs or provide any therapy, anyway), and/or pay co-pays/deductibles for a bucket-load of clinical therapy services outside the school (which tend to be a little overboard for his borderline needs, anyway), and miss out on the classroom setting that he so desperately needs.
The only other option for us was an evaluation with our local school district to see if he qualifies for school-based IEP services. If he did successfully qualify, that would mean he could start FREE preschool 4 days a week (2.5 hours a day) right when he turns 3. It would be a seamless transition from the Kindering program to regular preschool, and he could continue to receive speech/sensory, etc. services in the classroom, but still be around typically-developing kids who serve as great role models for him. Sounds perfect, right? The only catch is that he is such a borderline kid and has so many splintered skills (and the school district has such rigid criteria) that we really weren't convinced that he would qualify for anything. And because we had to wait until he's almost 3 to do the evaluation, we are right at the start of the school year when it would be too late to start another option if he doesn't qualify (most have wait-lists for miles). Lastly, were he to qualify, the school district would provide a free bus system with at-home pickup/drop-off....and well, you might be able to imagine my excitement at this when you remember that I'll also have a newborn, an 18 month old, and it will be the start of the flu-filled, cold, rainy season in Seattle as all this starts up. All in all, this was our only ideal option to get our son's needs met, and we were praying hard for SOME type of qualifying scores (...without praying for severe developmental delays, of course!), even in just one area, but we still had our doubts and were prepared for the "less than" ideal.
After months of waiting, this morning was Eli's school district evaluation. I was as nervous as I used to be on high school exam days, and didn't even know what to pray for, honestly. I of course wanted him to qualify, but I didn't want him to live with the stigma of severe developmental delay (or be treated as such) if he really didn't have it. I wanted him to behave well for the therapists and be in a good mood for the next couple hours, but I also knew that at his best, he barely shows any signs of delay, and I wanted them to see his real needs. I wanted to be honest with the standardized parent reports, but not give the impression that he is better off than he actually is (for instance, saying that he can do something, even if he's only done it once or twice in his life). I wanted him to qualify for services, but I really wanted a classroom setting specifically (not just therapy services at the school once or twice a week). Then, I realized that I was spending entirely too much time thinking about WHAT I needed to pray for, rather than TO WHOM I was praying. Especially during this season of the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah), I was reminded that God is our Lord (which pertains to dominion and authority) and King. He knows our needs better than we do, and He is in total control. Finally, I threw up my hands and just asked God to be God in this situation. If He could create the world and humanity into existence (we celebrate the anniversary of this during Rosh Hashanah), He could help Eli qualify in at least one of these developmental areas!
The hours passed (I was pulled into a separate room to do parent interviews for most of it), and the next thing I knew, the entire team was gathered into a room to discuss the results and the next plan of action. All the therapists looked like they had just met a new baby niece or nephew. They were beaming from ear to ear and talking among themselves about how incredibly sweet and "angelic" (I'm not making this up) Eli was. They couldn't stop telling me how he was one of the happiest, gifted, most well-mannered kids they've ever had the pleasure of working with, and they had the highest hopes for him because of his amazing disposition and desire to learn and engage with them. This all made me very proud, of course....but it did make me concerned that he was not going to qualify for anything! Then, as they each went around the room to discuss their findings, I learned that although Eli was not significantly delayed in any one area (which is one method of qualifying), he had enough very mild delays in enough areas that he DOES in fact qualify for preschool!!!! On top of that, each of the therapists explained that although he showed some minor delays, his improvements and readiness to learn have been great, and they expect this to simply be a beneficial "boost" to really get him caught up and ready for school success. It was like hearing the best possible scenario while still getting the services we were looking for. We also learned that he is going to receive *all* the services areas he needs while in the classroom (even the ones he is almost typical in), so I won't have to drag him to (or pay for) separate private therapy. Lastly, he'll be attending an amazing, amazing school which just happens to be 5 minutes up the road from our house. It's the only school in our area that provides these services, so we feel so blessed to be so close. And he gets the bus service. It's everything we wanted, and more.
I almost (happy) cried in front of them all. I suppose I could have blamed it on the pregnancy hormones...
I had desperately cried out to God to just make this work somehow, and He responded by exceeding every expectation I had (even my very best expectations). He literally blew them out of the water. I love when His plans make our own imaginations and desires seem boring and deficient. I love when the barely-believable and the barely-imaginable become reality.
Remember the two stories that Pi told the writer in "Life of Pi"? The final conversation went as follows:
PI: Can I ask you something?
WRITER: Of course.
PI: I've told you two stories about what happened out on the ocean. Neither explains what caused the sinking of the ship, and no one can prove which story is true and which is not. In both stories, the ship sinks, my family dies, and I suffer.
WRITER: True.
PI: So which story do you prefer?
WRITER: The story with the tiger. That's the better story.
PI: Thank you. And so it goes with God.
Later, after Pi had left the room, the writer was going through the police reports from the incident, and it actually confirmed that there was an adult Bengal tiger on the lifeboat with Pi. I'm not sure what the movie writer meant when he wrote this statement about God, but I'll tell you what it meant to me. It seems to me that the (often barely-believable) beauty and power of God's workmanship holds more reality and truth than the dull "reality" that some people would rather believe in. In other words, God REALLY is THAT good. He really does exceed our expectations and go above and beyond our wildest dreams in a way that, without faith, would probably look like a rather unbelievable story. But it's always the best, most preferable story. Trust me.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." -Ephesians 3:20
L'Shanah Tovah!
Tears of joy and thankfulness for your family Sarah! Isn't our God amazing! I am so happy for dear little Eli and wish we were still seeing your precious family occasionally! We love having Kari and her family closer though!!
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